Should Non-Christians Be Allowed To Marry In A Church?

Should a non-Christian couple be allowed to be married in a church?  What about a pastor marrying a couple where both are non-believers?  Is this wrong?

Being Unequally Yoked

The Bible is clear that believers are not to be yoked or tied together with unbelievers. This does not mean that Christians cannot have Christian friends but surely our closest friends should be those from the Body of Christ, the church.  This command to not be unequally yoked means more than just being yoked or bound together in friendship but it also means in marriage so even if the verse in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 applies to friendships, how much more should it apply to marriage which is an even closer relationship than any friendship ever could be because in marriage, the two become one flesh (Mark 10:8).  Listen to what Paul writes about being unequally yoked in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?  What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?”  James says “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:4).  Again, James, like Paul, is not saying that we can’t have friends with non-Christians but to be a friend of the world means that we are friends with the ways of the world and if we are, then we are “an enemy of God.”   Do these verses mean that non-Christians can marry in a church?

Christians Marrying Non-Christians

Clearly, after reading the verses in 2 Corinthians and James, Christians should not marry non-believers because how can “two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet” (Amos 3:3)?  The answer is they cannot. They will have different value systems, differing beliefs about childrearing, different priorities, and differences in worship and non-belief.  I will not marry a couple where one is a believer and one is not a believer because I would be endorsing and condoning a couple that is unequally yoked, something which the Bible clearly teaches against. Of course, I would marry two Christians and two who are not Christian for there is no command against such marital unions, but when two of differing beliefs want to be married, in a church or not, I cannot in good conscience do so.

Can Non-Christians Marry in a Church?

The church is a place where the Body of Christ gathers to worship God and learn from His Word.  The church is not a building but the people of God that have chosen a time where they repented and trusted in Christ.  The building is just a physical structure that the church uses for convenience and has the capacity for a larger group to meet together where a person’s home wouldn’t have sufficient space for such a gathering.  Since we know that the church is not a building but the people of God, I see no problem with marrying a couple who are not Christians in a church building.  Marriage is still a sacred ceremony where God joins the two together in a civil, legal union whereby witnesses validate its authenticity and a marriage license is required to make this couple legally joined and legally entitled to all the privileges that married couples enjoy and deserve.

In the same manner, a Christian couple cannot only marry in a church but they also have the freedom to marry in a courthouse before a justice of the peace.  There is nothing in the Bible that prohibits a Christian couple from marrying in an outdoor ceremony or in a courthouse ceremony any more than there is for a non-Christian couple from marrying in a church.  Where the Bible is silent on such non-essential issues, we must also be silent and make no prohibitions where the Bible doesn’t. To do so is to go beyond what the Scriptures teach and insert unnecessarily human beliefs, opinions, or even family traditions.

Should a Pastor Marry Non-Christians?

Again, after examining the Scriptures, there is nothing conclusively stating that a pastor cannot marry a couple who are not believers any more than he would be restricted from marrying a Christian couple outside of a church building.  Where the problem lies and which the Scriptures support, is a pastor marrying a non-Christian to a believer because that conflicts with the Bible’s teaching on being unequally yoked. Even in the New Testament, there were restrictions on marrying outside of the nation of Israel.  This was prohibited because there was a good chance that the one from the pagan nation could lead astray the other spouse from Israel and create a divided home or even worse, lead the Israelite into idolatry which was punishable by death.  There were exceptions where even some of Israel’s leaders did this but it always led to sinful patterns and behaviors, painful consequences, and in some cases, led to idolatry as with Solomon who took foreign wives.  He later set up idolatrous patterns of worship in Israel and polluted the entire nation which would later be divided into the Northern and the Southern Kingdoms. Israel would never again reach the heights that she did under King David.

Conclusion

If anyone desires to marry, Christian or not, I very strongly urge premarital counseling because couples that have premarital counseling traditionally have lower rates of divorce, less division in familial issues, and have a more harmonious home for the children.  There is great wisdom in counseling because things that most couples don’t think about come up at later times in their marriage that frequently cause great difficulties because of differing expectations.  When both parties go in with set expectations and eyes wide open, they know what to expect and are better prepared and equipped when the unexpected issues and conflicts do come up…and they will come up.

Someday, Jesus will come again to marry His church and take His bride for Himself into the Kingdom (Rev 19:6-7, 21:2-3).  Today He is betrothed or engaged to His church and the Bride of Christ is expected to be purifying herself and living a holy, chaste life.  The church is called to be holy because God is holy (1 Pet 1:16).  If you have never repented and trusted in Christ, then you cannot possibly be holy (2 Cor 5:21) and you will be shut out of the wedding of Jesus Christ and the church (Matt 22:1-14).  Any who are not invited to the wedding, will be left outside forever, weeping and gnashing (grinding) their teeth and face a Christ-less eternity that will never change for it will be said of them “Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matt 22:13) but I pray that is not you.

Another Reading on Patheos to Check Out: What Did Jesus Really Look Like: A Look at the Bible Facts

Article by Jack Wellman

Jack Wellman is Pastor of the Mulvane Brethren church in Mulvane Kansas. Jack is also the Senior Writer at What Christians Want To Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book  Blind Chance or Intelligent Design available on Amazon