I was minding my own business, playing some Madden 2013, when Satan was all, like, “Dude gimme your tots.” and I was like, “Who are you, Napoleon Dynamite?” and he was all, “No, bro, I’m Satan.” and I was like, “Then gimme your tots, punk!” True story.
Remember when your English teacher tried to explain the importance of grammar and punctuation to you, and you were like, “Yeah, nerd, whatever. I just wanna PARTY!” Yeah, this is why.Pretty sure you mean plural goal posts. That, or you have some molecular transporter device the rest of us don’t know about…in which case, I’m TOTALLY going to your church!
Good to know they are demon-free. Guessing they don’t keep it that way by “reading” the Bible to them. Just a guess based on this ad.This week’s lesson: How to properly wet yourself when someone quotes Dawkins or Hitchens to you.And some people say we worship false gods…PSSSHHH!They pretty much do. And actually it’s called “sin tax.” but, umm…you know, never mind. Carry on.
Christian Piatt
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