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Christian Piatt

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Communion Lite” Edition

Last updated on: August 17, 2014 at 3:27 pm

August 17, 2014 by Christian Piatt

I’m so glad there’s a church out there willing to offer me un-transubstantiated communion. The other one just makes me a little gassy.

You want the transubstantiation?? You can't HANDLE the transubstantiation!!! (My best Nicholson, trust me) — You want the transubstantiation?? You can’t HANDLE the transubstantiation!!! (My best Nicholson, trust me)

Just text 777-777-7773. What? the all-sevens one was already taken by that schmuck Drew Carey.

I'll spare you the obvious redundancy joke here, but honestly, if folks are uncomfortable about coming to worship, I expect putting clowns in charge will take care of that (crickets). — I’ll spare you the obvious redundancy joke here, but honestly, if folks are uncomfortable about coming to worship, I expect putting clowns in charge will take care of that (crickets).

I'm a fool for punctuation and knowing the difference between contractions and possessives. But that's just me. — I’m a fool for punctuation and knowing the difference between contractions and possessives. But that’s just me.

So basically you can blame Jesus for whatever you did. Guilt by association and what-not.

The first-ever baptist church to dabble in <a href='https://www.patheos.com/library/buddhism' target='_blank'>Buddhism</a>. — The first-ever baptist church to dabble in Buddhism.

Swing and a miss, folks. Nothing but air.

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