WHAT IF SHAKESPEARE WROTE THE HOKEY POKEY?

(Someone emailed me this without any attribution to the author. As a fellow writer, I am loathe to post anything without giving credit where it is due. But it is so funny I wanted to copy it here to class up my archives. If anyone out there knows who wrote it, please let me know so I can add their name.)

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within

Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.

Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:

Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.

Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,

A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.

To spin! A wilde release from Heaven’s yoke.

Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.

The Hoke, the poke — banish now thy doubt

Verily, I say, ’tis what it’s all about.