Lather, Rinse, Repeat – By Dan Ewald

Every morning I take a shower at 3 p.m.

During today’s lather, I listened to “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, The King of Creation” from the new Hymns CD by Out of Eden. The powerful anthem had me singing like the twentysomething black girl I’m not.

Praise to the Lord, Who over all things so wondrously reigneth / Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth / Hast thou not seen how thy desires ever have been granted in what He ordaineth?

What that meant in my mind:

Thank God for managing the world, even during terrorism, tsunamis, and hurricanes / For protecting me and keeping me going / Haven’t I seen how my needs have been taken care of?

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation / O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy health and salvation / All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near / Praise Him in glad adoration.

Thank God, even though He himself came up with the concept of tsunamis and hurricanes / I’ll thank him from the bottom of my soul. He does, after all, continually save me from myself / I hear His voice, so I’d better run — not walk — to His side / I’ll choose to praise Him, gladly, without making it the huge effort I make everything else.

I had to read about the eloquent guy who wrote this. Why don’t today’s worship choruses contain the same heft? I mean, I like “letting the river flow” as much as the next guy, but c’mon…

After an intense 3-minute research session on Yahoo, I discovered I had a lot in common with Joachim Neander.

1. We’re both writers. He wrote a hymn that means something 300 years posthumously. I’m writing a cartoon about Ninja bunnies for Disney that comes out next year and will entertain for months if it ever reaches syndication.

2. Neander was a Calvinist as am I, half the time.

3. Neander was a German. I spend most of my life trying to hide that I’m part-German. When people ask me my nationality I say, “Guess.” If they guess anything other than German, I tell them they’re right.

4. His bio says he lived a “rowdy life” before converting. I’ve lived my rowdiness since converting at the age of 5.

5. After he underwent conversion, Neander found a cave by a river and lived a life of solitary meditation. I, too, meditate in solitude. Each week I read Entertainment Weekly in the bathrub, alone.

6. Joachim Neander died at age 30. I made it past that milestone, but if “Six Feet Under” has taught me anything, you never know about tomorrow.

If you like big harmonious anthems, I highly recommend buying the song from iTunes or getting the whole record. (Buy it, don’t steal.) The King of Creation doesn’t like it when His creation steals the creation of other members of His creation.