Tell Me How to Be a Woman: Amy Coney Barret and Jo Jorgensen

Tell Me How to Be a Woman: Amy Coney Barret and Jo Jorgensen October 28, 2020

Photo by Billie on Unsplash

I am confused. Perpetually, I will admit, but this is different. I am at a loss. I do not understand why so many are so scared of Amy Coney Barret or her presence in the U.S. Supreme Court. And just by admitting that, I was recently told that was my “privilege” talking. Call it the privilege of curiosity if you must.

Allow me to share my view on things since that’s what we do in this day and age, whether we are asked or not.

In 2016, the world was set ablaze with a renewed passion for feminine support. If you didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton, you were a traitor to women. Or, you hated women or feared women, or clearly sexist, or something. (I did not vote for Clinton; therefore, I am apparently a traitor to my sex/gender/sisterhood. Oh! I bet you’re about to assume that I voted for Trump, aren’t you! Guess again!)

It’s so odd that in 2020, with a woman running for President on the Libertarian ticket, we don’t hear any of the same proclamations or demands, isn’t it? Now, if you cast your vote for Jo Jorgenson, you are betraying another group of collectives, albeit I am not sure which ones. But the general consensus rests on the idea that voting for this female candidate somehow betrays a bunch of oppressed classes of people and proves disloyalty to America. Does it also mean that we hate women if we vote for a woman, I wonder?

And that brings me to ACB. Are we not overwhelmed by the obvious progressive act of nominating and confirming another woman for the Supreme Court? Ruth Bader Ginsburg recently died, and I could see no greater honor than replacing her with another woman. But I am told this is not the case. Celebrating this sisterhood advancement is bigotry?

What about Jo Jorgensen? This presidential candidate has a Ph.D. and she’s a damn Master Gardener! The kicker- a WOMAN running for President of the United States of America. Why are we not echoing the same demands for a swing toward feminity like we did just 4 short years ago?

Wait, she’s the wrong kind of sister, am I right?

So, when does society finally give me a clear definition of the kind of woman a woman is supposed to be when advancing toward the efforts of representing women in a system that has never fully embraced women? When will the system tell me how my womanhood can finally be validated? Isn’t that the better question to ask?

I am not completely naïve to the fears that thicken the atmosphere in this environment of utter fuckery. A dense fog of fear has been hovering over our little planet since March, it seems, and I do understand why it continues to spread. Fear is contagious. So contagious that we aren’t even aware of when or how or why it affects us. I mean, some of us do, but few. It’s just there, in the air, and we breathe it in and it gets us high with panic, anxiety, and self-righteous outrage.

But it’s rather unconscious, don’t you think? It’s a rather sleepy and eyes-wide shut illness that ignores logic and reason and wholly rejects faith and love. Allowing fear to rule over you is a sign of a mental illness in many regards. Fear is a mental illness that infects droves of people and the lasting effects are passed on to our youth.

We slap fear over everything that we perceive as opposing us even though nothing is opposing us. And from the quick read that I just did on Amy Coney Barret, it seems to me that she doesn’t oppose so much as she disagrees with much. And sure, there’s a particular topic that she has decried as disagreeable to her. But when did we decide that disagreement equals opposition? Obama and Clinton both opposed same-sex marriage during their presidential bids and were extended grace when they changed their mind. I wonder if there is a potentiality that Amy Coney Barret could change her mind?

I disagree with a lot of things that my husband does and says. But I don’t actively oppose them. I don’t go out of my way to become an obstacle in his attainment or advancement of that which I disagree with. I simply take note of my disagreement and move on. I wonder if it’s that simple for me to do, why others cannot do it?

Ah! That privilege thing. That’s why. It’s because I am a white woman and my privilege affords me the ability to not give in to fear. Can I be honest with you? I think that’s a bunch of bullshit. I believe there is very deceptive programming going out into the world, especially here in America, in that the aim is to convince people that they are not capable of rising up without an overarching legislative body and a pocket full of politicians to elevate people. Ergo, without the power of the political, no one can save themselves. If more division is sowed and more labels are created, and more people are pitted against one another, this program will be a downloaded success!

Jesus was crucified because he taught people how to elevate themselves. He told people that the words and labels of others didn’t reduce them. In fact, he suggested that the more they persecute you, the more you should show them love and pray for them! Jesus spoke against the same programming that I see people downloading without question.

Do you know what else Jesus did? He elevated women! He dropped hot truths about women that the Pharisees loathed. He confused his disciples at times by the ways in which he welcomed women into his life. Isn’t that what feminism has been about all this time? Welcoming women into the world and into our lives?

And yet, here we stand, finding every way possible to invalidate and erase the potential goodness that could come from this confirmation of Amy Coney Barret and the candidacy of Jo Jorgenson. I am baffled that just a few short years after hearing every day what a traitor I would be to ignore voting for a woman, that now I would be accused of being a traitor to women if I vote for or support a woman.

Will you please tell this woman how I am to be a good woman if I am not allowed to support women because you decided that these women are not the best models for women?

Better yet, let me tell you what a good woman looks like…





About Danielle Kingstrom
Danielle is the host of the Recorded Conversations podcast. A podcast dedicated to compassionately considering all perspectives while engaging in authentic, connected dialogue. She is also an erotic embodiment advisor with Naked Tree Advising. As an advisor, Danielle assists others in discovering their erotic self and helps answer questions about struggles with sexuality. You can read more about the author here.

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