In the end, we keep moving forward.

Several years ago, my long-awaited firstborn grandchild lay dying in the newborn intensive care unit (NICU) of a hospital in Orlando, Florida.  This NICU was located in a building wing that had been built through a generous donation from the Disney family and that was named after Disney and designed with incorporated images of Disney characters.  I spent many desolate hours there.  And, while there, something quite unexpected occurred to my mind:

I grew up not very far from the original Disneyland, in California, and I can’t remember my first visit there.  Disney was part of my childhood — not only days spent at “the happiest place on earth” and attending Disney movies, but Sunday evenings structured around watching The Wonderful World of Disney on television — and I wanted Disney to be part of hers.  I wanted her to feel some of the magic that I had felt, and to have a childhood in which good triumphed and love was all around.  I don’t believe that I had so much as thought about it before, but there, surrounded by Disney images, I suddenly realized that I had really been looking forward to introducing my new granddaughter to the “world of Disney” — and that it simply wasn’t going to happen.

We went down to Orlando on that occasion to help out as a very difficult pregnancy was coming to an end and a newborn baby would need time and attention.  We didn’t anticipate that our trip would culminate in my conducting a small graveside funeral.

Over the past few days, out again in Orlando, we were able to celebrate the third birthday of that lost first grandchild’s healthy little sister, and it was deeply gratifying.  They no longer live in Florida, but they came down for this.

While my classes were taking their midterm examinations — I loved a Disney tee shirt that was for sale there in Orlando:  “You say the word villain as if it’s a bad thing!”– we did the Magic Kingdom, and SeaWorld, and Disney’s Animal Kingdom, and Disney Springs.  The weather was miserably hot and humid — what a shock it was to return to a newly chilly Utah rather late last night! — but it was a joy to watch this little granddaughter chat with Ariel and with Princess Jasmine and with Princess Merida of DunBroch, to take her shopping in Disney stores, to see her ride for the very first time on Splash Mountain at Disney World and navigate the rapids at SeaWorld.  (She was remarkably brave, although — oddly — meeting Goofy face to face unnerved her.)  We touched manta rays and watched performing dolphins, jeeped past elephants, and rode on monorails.

Most things don’t really matter.  Some things do.  Very, very much.