The Cobra Commander Dialogues: III.II.10

Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Kinder, Kuche, Kirche.

*GI Joe PSA theme kicks in*
John Galt: Hey you kids, stop!
7-Year Old: Yes sir?
John Galt: I’ve heard that you’ve been wandering around the woods a lot lately, is that true?
4-Year Old: Is that dangerous?
John Galt: Not at all! Despite this area being equal parts vast untamed wilderness and industrial development without the slightest hint to safety regulation you’re in no danger at all, even with this valley lacking even basic emergency services and being only populated by people who believe in the virtue of selfishness and would never bother to help you even at no risk to themselves unless there was a profit in it.
7-Year Old: Well then why did you yell at us to stop?
John Galt: Well you’re wandering around in the middle of what should be a productive work day! Even though your mother has brought you here to raise you as a job, which implies she’s going to be paid by your father for the service which raises some serious issues about whether we consider children to be property of their father’s here or some such thing, she can’t just be expected to pay for all your room and board you moochers! You can’t just spend all your days lollygagging!
4-Year Old: But… I’m 4… and there’s no school here…
7-Year Old: Yeah we haven’t learned anything since coming here… what’re we supposed to do with nowhere to go?
John Galt: There are no schools for kids because there’s no demand for introductory education classes, why should we provide something there’s no demand for? You can join my advanced physics lectures if you can afford to pay for them.
7-Year Old: But… we don’t have any money…
John Galt: Well don’t think going and crying to your parents will get you any! You’re both small and have tiny arms, there’s plenty of industrial operations I’m sure you’d be a good fit for in the mines and the various work plants that are being stood up around here. And if you prove yourselves to be extra capable maybe you’ll actually make a living wage, because we’re only going to pay you for what you’re worth obviously, and let’s face it I’m not expecting much as you kids haven’t composed any operas in the outside world let alone run massive multi million dollar industries like most of the prospective employees hanging out around here.. So if you don’t want to starve tonight you’d better get out there and get some jobs!
Kids: And now we know.
John Galt: And knowing is half the battle!
*ATLAS SHRUUUUUUUGGED*