The naked truth about television: 500 channels and there’s nothing on. Not a stitch, in fact.

The naked truth about television: 500 channels and there’s nothing on. Not a stitch, in fact. 2016-09-30T15:53:20-04:00

The TV critic at The New York Times is keeping an eye on the tube, so we donโ€™t have to. Reading this, describing whatโ€™s coming into our living rooms this summer, I have to think thatโ€™s a very good thing:

In case you missed the news that traditional courtship is dead, naked people on VH1 stand ready to enlighten you. And in case you thought that television networks had evolved beyond trying to attract viewers with cheesy titillation โ€” ditto.

Yes, itโ€™s time forย โ€œDating Naked,โ€ย a reality series beginning Thursday on VH1 in which just-introduced strangers looking for love are nude from the get-go. This comes nine days after the new FYI channel, an A&E offshoot, introducedย โ€œMarried at First Sight,โ€ย in which strangers paired by supposed experts begin their relationship by marrying, then decide whether they like each other.

Both shows are probably inevitable next steps in televisionโ€™s endless effort to capitalize on the human need to pair up, which stretches back to โ€œThe Dating Gameโ€ of the 1960s and runs through โ€œThe Bachelor,โ€ โ€œThe Millionaire Matchmakerโ€ and odd variations like โ€œIt Takes a Church.โ€

The two new entries are, of course, outrageous affronts to the style of courtship that has served humanity quite well for millenniums, if you donโ€™t count theย dismaying frequency of divorceย and resulting psychological damage to all involved. The shows are taking what used to be the long-term goal โ€” getting married or seeing someone naked or both โ€” and making it the starting point. As Chrissy, one of the geniuses in the first episode of โ€œDating Naked,โ€ notes: โ€œIt is awkward meeting someone naked. I mean, usually you wait till sex.โ€

โ€ฆโ€œDating Nakedโ€ wonโ€™t seem all that scandalous to inhabitants of the texting generation, for whom sharing photos of their naughty bits is now routine. The series is just a continuation of a tawdry show-it-all TV trend that began a year or so ago when reality series involving nude castaways (โ€œNaked and Afraidโ€), nude real estate transactions (โ€œBuying Nakedโ€) and nude body painting (โ€œNaked Vegasโ€) began turning up.

Fox has apparently been developing its own naked-dating show, thoughย The Wrapย reported the other day that it has been postponed for reasons unknown; maybe to study ways to make it nakeder than โ€œDating Nakedโ€? Showtime commissioned a video (title:ย โ€œUndress Meโ€) of strangers stripping one another as a promotion โ€” oh, sorry; according to the network, itโ€™s a โ€œsocial experimentโ€ โ€” for the new season of โ€œMasters of Sex.โ€ In August, GSN introduces a body painting show calledย โ€œSkin Wars.โ€Clearly, there soon wonโ€™t be a clothed person left on television, reality or scripted.

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