A Dad Responds to Complaints About His Kids at Mass

Some weeks back, I posted excellent advice for parents bringing their kids to Mass.

Now, over on Aleteia’s main page, there’s this thoughtful essay by Tommy Tighe: a letter to someone who was upset at the way his children behaved (or didn’t) during Mass.

Snip:

I’m sure you remember me: I’m the overwhelmed, un-showered, snack-spilling, toy-bringing, throw-up-wearing, pacifier-dropping ringmaster of the three-ring circus in the pew directly in front of you.

We’re the reason folks miss the homily. We’re the loud “Amen!” at the wrong time; the snotty handshake at the sign of peace; the distraction of nursing during the consecration … I could go on and on.

I’m not sure you knew this, but we’re also something else: deeply self-conscious about the way we may be impacting the Mass experience of others.

I’m guessing it probably doesn’t look this way, but every time one of our “supreme gifts of marriage” speaks too loudly, drops a hymnal, plays with the kneeler or fills their diaper, we are completely embarrassed and terrified that it might be distracting others from their worship of Almighty God.

I’m realizing now that it must not look that way, because last Sunday you felt inspired by the Holy Spirit (I’m assuming) to let me know that I was handling the situation all wrong.

Didn’t I know there was a crying room where I could let my children be as crazy as they want to be? Could I take the screaming baby outside next time? Why didn’t I inform my children that they shouldn’t be dancing in the pews during the Gospel? Don’t I know people are trying to pray?!

I feel bad that I didn’t have much of a response for you at the time you provided me with this helpful feedback. To be honest, I was so crushed by your comments that I didn’t stand a chance of offering anything back other than, “I’m sorry.”

On the way to our minivan, my mind started racing with all the things I wish I would have said in reply.

Read what he said here.