The Daren Streblow Comedy Show Mini-Cast 68: Selling Your School, Matt Falk & Tim Hawkins

The Daren Streblow Comedy Show Mini-Cast 68: Selling Your School, Matt Falk & Tim Hawkins September 9, 2014


From WISN News in Milwaukee:  A senior class prank in Wauwatosa has put the high school up for sale at a reduced price.

In what is believed to be a prank, a “Beautiful Mansion For Sale” in Wauwatosa was listed on Craigslist on Thursday.

The eight-bedroom nine-bathroom “mansion” features over 90,000 square feet over four floors, a state-of-the-art theater, weight room, cardio room, swimming pool, recreation center, fenced-in soccer field and a dining room that can seat 1,000 people.

I think the Duggars considered buying but it was simply too small.

The listing says there is “enough parking for one large family (80-car parking lot)” and comes with artwork worth $7 million.

Me thinks he dost overestimate the value of Art 101 drawings of Super Mario and bedazzled Valentine notes.

The mansion, which comes with 200 pre-installed computers, is going for the low, low price of $50,000 CASH.

The principal believes the ad is harmless.

“Really, it’s hilarious. Right away, I forwarded it out to my superintendent, the administrators at West, the other administrators at East to say, ‘Hey at $50,000, this is a steal. I low bid already at $45,000, so I’m trying get it for myself,'” Nick Hughes said.

So, this really just begs the question of what you would do if you could uy Wauwatosa High for the low, low price of $50 large.  Wouldn’t it be great to use the school bell to get your kids up and going in the morning?  Then again, it really wouldn’t be such an amazing deal until he threw in three orange school busses and a custodian.

Then comedian Matt Falk calls into the show to get a load off his chest.  You see, Matt is what he considers a “chunky fellow” (some may say “healthy”).  And his friends continually get mad at him when he refuses to join them on beach trips.  Trust him… you don’t want to see those stretch marks!  So embarrassing for a 25-year-old guy who’s never been pregnant.   And the poor guy is having such a hard time buying clothes these days:  high rise jeans, low rise jeans, slim fit jeans, slim fit shirts… you know why they fit?  Because the models are slim!!  Matt feels like someone should design and sell fat fit clothing:  clothes that leave room for your favorite activity (even if that activity is eating pie alone in the dark).  And what’s with the store Lulu Lemon?  They’re squeezing people into yoga pants who have never done yoga a day in their life!  These people should be shopping at Mumu Lemon.

And finally, comic Tim Hawkins calls in from the road, which probably sounds more glamorous than it is.  Tim describes a comedian’s tour bus as a moving coffin.  And the time on the clock means nothing to a comic on the road:  They wake at 3:00 in the afternoon, drink cold coffee, then watch reality TV for five hours before going on stage that night.  Sleep.  Drink.  Joke.  Repeat.  Yet, it’s still the most efficient way for a comedian to travel.  It gives guys the time to think and ponder the important things in life.

Like, what’s with Cupid?  Most people think that he’s romantic and cute, but for Tim, getting shot in the heart with an arrow by a diaper-wearing baby is horrifying.

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