What do you do when your marriage needs a reset button? I recommend asking God what he says about how to recalibrate your marriage, and the clearest way to hear His opinion on the matter is to turn to the Bible.
Now, if you’ve ever attended a Christian wedding or two, you’ve more than likely heard a reading from 1 Corinthians 13. It’s pretty much every Christian’s go-to verse regarding love. It says:
4 Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, 5 never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. 6 It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. 7 If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.
Now, if we were to paraphrase these verses and make them more targeted toward husbands, it might be understood as this:
As a husband, are you patient? Are you kind? Are you never jealous or boastful or proud or rude? Do you ever demand your own way? Are you ever irritable, or keep records of being wronged? Do you ever rejoice about injustice or do you rejoice whenever the truth wins out? If you love your spouse, you should never give up on them, never lose faith in them, should always be hopeful, and endure through every circumstance.
When you look at love through this Biblical lens, it can almost always help correct your relationship with your spouse.
Another passage to consider is Ephesians 5:21-33:
21 Honor Christ by submitting to each other. 22 You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. 23 For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the Church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!) 24 So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything, just as the Church obeys Christ.
25 And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the Church when he died for her, 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s Word; 27 so that he could give her to himself as a glorious Church without a single spot or wrinkle or any other blemish, being holy and without a single fault. 28 That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife!29-30 No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body the Church, of which we are parts…
…33 So again I say, a man must love his wife as a part of himself; and the wife must see to it that she deeply respects her husband—obeying, praising, and honoring him.
The Bible tells women to respect and submit to their husbands and for men to love their wives just like Christ loved the church.
But this all tends to lead us to the same question: “But what if they don’t hold up their end of the deal? Am I supposed to love, respect and submit to this lousy person?” Well, the short answer is: yes. You see, as I see it, when you follow the Bible’s instructions and trust God with your marriage, you will be amazed at how Christ can create supernatural change in you and your marriage.
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