From the UK Mirror:
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but none more so than Linda does because she is married to a seventy-ton roller coaster named Bruce.
Now, this is Britain, remember, so I’m not sure whether or not they started out on a first-name basis when they began dating. Perhaps she was a proper lady and addressed him as Mr. Curly-tracks.
Linda, who is 56, fell in love with the 70-foot tall Bruce 26 years ago, when she worked at the carnival where the ride was based.
A lot of romances begin at the workplace. This isn’t that unusual.
But only recently did she rekindle the romance after previous relationships with a locomotive and an aeroplane.
Apparently, it’s the traveling that can ruin the romance.
She is a self-proclaimed ‘objectum sexual’ which means she has romantic feelings for inanimate objects.
Linda, from America, is just one of the stars of the new series of My Strange Addiction which airs on channel TLC.
“Some women like tall men, some women like men with a colorful personality, he’s got all of that,” she says in the show.
The pair enjoy candlelit dinners and Linda often spends the night sleeping in the ride.
At least it’s reported that Bruce enjoys candlelit dinners. Bruce was unavailable for comment, nor did he reply to any email.
She’s joined by a couple of Brits with unusual habits – including 29-year-old Londoner Patrice who has been addicted to chewing bricks for the past 12 years.
Which is, I believe, the gateway drug to boulder swallowing.
Her addiction is so powerful she once chewed a two-foot hole in the wall of her bedroom and ate part of her grandmother’s home in secret.
That seems to be an incredibly tough secret to keep: “Where is the wall?? Isn’t a wall supposed to be here?”
“I started eating brick in my late teens,” she explained in the show.
How is she still alive?
“I got the idea to do it from my grandma who told me that my auntie and uncle, when they were kids, used to dig the wall and taste it.”
She says living in London makes her addiction worse.
“London is full of brick,’ she says. “The Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, the roads. Brick is everywhere. I’m having this constant reminder of brick, brick, brick.”
It’s like a real-life gingerbread house to her!
The show also features Evelyn, who drinks air freshener and sprays it in her mouth up to 50 times a day.
I’m guessing Evelyn doesn’t smoke, because we would loose Evelyn rather quickly.
Next, my friend Andy Beningo joins the show to discuss parenthood. He and his wife welcomed the latest addition to their family just ten months ago, and life hasn’t been the same since. Their little, amazing daughter has already begun to crawl all over the house, popping her head up from between the furniture and then scurrying back down. Much like a little squirrel. She’s deceptively fast and slippery as well. According to Andy, she could play in the NFL with her unbelievable ability to break tackles and slip through defenses.
But, Andy has had enough with the baby toys! They play the same songs over and over and over again. Eighteen hours straight of the same goofy tune. And the only way to get a song like that out of your mind is to hear an even more annoying tune, which starts the same process all over again… different song, same verse, a whole lot louder and a whole lot worse!
Finally, Leanne Morgan calls in to talk about her show on Sirius / XM’s Blue Collar Radio called “Chewing the Fat” with Reno Collier, where they spend an hour each day chewing the fat and talking about nothing – laughing, and making people laugh, all the while.
Leanne has also had her fair share of sitcoms starting, stopping, beginning and dying. The latest comment she received from network executives was that she is just too traditional. Apparently there isn’t enough room on the dial for one more show featuring a husband, a wife, and their children.
It actually seems like almost all sitcoms feature some sort of alternative lifestyle these days. It makes me wonder how relatable these shows are for most of America.
According to Leanne, this explains the popularity of Duck Dynasty. The Robertsons have their own quirks and idiosyncrasies, but they are loved because they love each other and are committed to one another.
I mean, I agree with the network exec’s – it would be boring to watch a “normal family”, but the thing is, I don’t think that a “normal family” exists anymore. There’s always stuff going on in any household… even in the traditional ones.
For instance, Leanne has a 21-year-old son who is from heaven. They call him “Billy Graham”. He actually tells Leanne and her husband how to act because their lives are filled with the sins of the University of Tennessee in the 80’s.
Leanne also has two girls who are twenty months apart, so they spend their days either whipping each other or loving each other. It’s just a hormonal mess.
Add to the kids Leanne’s need for progesterone and her husbands need for testosterone, and the whole household is crazy.