Reflections of Grace 125: I Would Drown In My Own Delusions

Reflections of Grace 125: I Would Drown In My Own Delusions July 6, 2016

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I know Someone who is wonderful.  Without Him walking besides me I would drown in my own delusions.

Life is hard folks.  But we have hope!!

If you are feeling lost or alone right now, allow me to take your hand and whisper a sweet, “I know”.  

The struggles.

The unbelief.

The fear.

I can relate to the fear that weighs you down at the whisperings of your enemy that it might always be this way.

You want to know what I want?

  • I want to sit there in my lack, holding my basket, and watch Jesus fill it to overflowing.
  • I want to step out of my boat, and skim across the water to Jesus!
  • For too long I have wanted Him to calm the storms before I leave my boat.
  • I have wanted the water to part into dry land before I put my foot in it.
  • I have wanted Him to tell me where I am going before I depart on my journey.

But, not so, with Jesus, my friends.

He is looking for a Church without spots or wrinkles.  Boy, do I have wrinkles.  Those you can see, and some you can’t see.

If we want to be mighty warriors we have to learn how to fight the mighty battles. Sometimes it might just be with only a lantern and a horn.

And sometimes He says to fight the battle by being still and waiting.

Most times it is believing what I cannot see; and always ever learning that it is Him that will fight for me.

But He can only do the fighting as I surrender my control.

And I have resisted so many times.  I hate waiting, don’t you? Sometimes I have allowed circumstances to be my dictator.  And then I am loaded down with despair.
Do you just sometimes want to stop the struggle and surrender?  Surrender is exactly what He wants.  Just to let go once and for all.

We get tired in our own strength, don’t we?

Yet, surrender is what He is looking for.  We cannot do it in our own strength.  As long as we want to try, He will stand back and allow you to try.  He is a gentleman.  He has all the time in the world.

But when I finally give up trying to make happen with I want to happen, and just relinquish my plans, He comes walking towards me.

I see Him approaching me with such love and desire on His face I come totally undone.  Once again, I am totally sold out to Him, no matter what is going on around me.

  • I don’t want my own concerns to obliterate the heavy loads others carry.  I want to see their hearts and their fears and help them get to the root of their pain and see it disappear as the light comes in and dispels the darkness.  I can’t do that as long as I am fighting for air myself.  So, I continue to hold myself to that standard of faith, to not look at my own issues, but the issues of others.

Whew, it is not easy!

Each day is a new day with Jesus.  I have no idea how or where this life will lead me as we are in a part of our journey that not even a lantern would illuminate.   I can only see one step ahead of me, but you know what?  That is enough.  I have what I need today.

Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Image: Nora Littlefield
Image: Nora Littlefield

All I know is right now I have got to lean hard into His loving embrace.  I hang onto His arm tightly like a little girl.  I will not let Him go.  I would rather hold His hand through the howling winds and thunder, than be on a silent seashore without His presence.

Awakening and owning isn’t about acquiring stuff, or a big name.  It is about embracing who we are in HIM.

We can’t love Him with our whole heart if we are asleep in our secure lives, can we?

To love Jesus is about taking the risk to stand on the mountaintop with lightening striking all around me. We can’t out love God.  To take a step towards Him means that He takes five steps toward you.  We were created for relationship with Him.

I hate to say it but if I was so secure in my earthly life, with all that I needed, and I knew where I was going every day, would I really continue pressing into an intimate relationship with Him?   Would I be motivated enough?

I do wonder.

And I pray I remember this time of molding on the Potter’s wheel, always.

All of humanity can be defined as a vast, gaping need. Our eyes observe men and women, young and old, throwing themselves into entertainment, recreation, technology, food, music, friends, and a host of other things as they grope for the answer to the riddle of why they are alive and seek to silence the screaming voice of yearning in their souls.

  • And it is within these searching masses that we find ourselves, languishing in the longing. No matter how much we buy, who we know, or what fleeting pleasures we experience, we find that none of it can quench the insatiable thirst in the depths of our being. So it is that day after day we go about panting and groaning for something that will satisfy the desires that dominate our inner man. It is in the gnawing ache of this restless discontentment so familiar to us all that the subject of intimacy with God finds its relevance.
  • Intimacy is a word being thrown around a lot in our day, both inside and outside of the Church. We all know that we want it because, on some level, we believe that only God can fill that void in our hearts. Still, for most of us, we don’t know quite how to get it, and what it actually means when we’re referring to intimacy with God Himself. We must realize that it is not just a certain way of speaking about God during a conference, nor is it merely a feeling we experience.
  • Intimacy with God consists of relational knowledge – we are most intimate with those whom we know at the deepest levels. Jesus stands at the center of this pursuit because in His face we see the light of the knowledge of the glory of God not just because He pointed perfectly to God, but because He is the fullness of the Godhead in the flesh.
  • Thus, to know Jesus is to know God, for He is God, and that is what intimacy is really all about. One of the most common misperceptions relates to how He feels about you. Deep inside we think that Jesus is mostly unemotional and distant, except for how disappointed He is with us – that is the one feeling we’re convinced He does actually feel.
  • Yet the truth is that His heart is full of love and desire for you. This isn’t just an idea or a sweet sentiment, but a reality that He put on display in every moment of His life. Your Creator actually took on a human frame and then gave His body over to suffering and death in order to redeem you. The Gospels aren’t just stories; they are the vivid, tangible expression of His fierce desire to be in relationship with humanity.
  • In the Bible, Christ is spoken of in many different ways, but the part of His identity that expresses this passion and joy of His heart most clearly is who He is as a Bridegroom. All throughout the Old Testament, God is revealed as possessing the heart of a jealous husband for His people and in Jesus we see the Divine Bridegroom right before our eyes, laying down His life to set us free from our sin and draw us near to Himself. This is where intimacy starts – in beholding the outstretched arms of Christ on the cross and realizing that He is inviting us to come close and enjoy our Maker and Husband forever…When this kindness, affection, and zeal dawn upon us, our hearts truly come alive for the first time, for we were fashioned for Him. But this is only the beginning, the doorway into something far greater. You see, as thrilling as it is, understanding that He likes us and wants to have us with Him isn’t quite the same thing as knowing Him, just like getting the invitation in the mail isn’t exactly like going to the party.

In drinking in the beauty of this Man, your soul will at last find its rest. This is intimacy, and this is what you were created for – to enjoy and adore the splendor of His glory forever. So forgetting what is behind, let us press on to know Him.

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