Interview with a Women’s Restroom (Transgenderism)
Since one of our issues today on Brad Stine Has Issues is transgenderism, (and those two phrases are not connected in any way) I thought I would interview a women’s restroom, known from a Christian worldview as a women’s restroom.
THOR RAMSEY: Ladies Restroom, what’s your take on the issue of transgender rights and bathrooms? So, do you think women will take advantage of this just to use the Men’s Room?
LADIES ROOM: What’s the big stink about? There’s a little restroom humor for you. To raise money for our legal defense fund we’re selling Woopie Goldberg cushions. When you sit on them they sound just like her – puurrrfttt.
THOR: How do you think we could improve Ladies Rooms for everyone?
LADIES ROOM: What I’d like to enact is a 10 friends or less line. And another line for selfies only.
THOR: Are you saying that you’d deny people the right to use you?
LADIES ROOM: Look, there are some biological women I don’t want using me. Here’s the thing, I’d rather people be able to identify where their bodily waste goes and make sure it goes there and no where else.
THOR: It has been said: “Neutrality is not an option. The issue will come and find you.” What do you have to say to that?
LADIES ROOM: Here’s something everyone can feel good about. 95% of the time when a man enters a ladies room — he’s here to clean it.
LADIES ROOM: You might be able to take the boy out of the boy, but you’re not gonna be able to take the boy out of the bathroom.
THOR: I have no idea what that means.
LADIES ROOM: Now you’re getting a handle on the issue.
THOR: The sexual revolutionaries would argue that the issues can be framed as beautiful equality vs. ugly discrimination — end of story.
LADIES ROOM: How about beautiful reality vs. you still have boy parts no matter how you dress? The seat stays down!
THOR: So, you’re not neutral on this issue?
LADIES ROOM: I’m a Ladies Room! Not a Neutral Zone!
THOR: What would Jesus do?
LADIES ROOM: He’d used the Men’s Room. He’s the Son of God. Why is this confusing?
THOR: How will this effect you personally?
LADIES ROOM: My sign. Look at this. Most people around the world look at this and get it — man. Man in kilts. Here’s a dressing room for men. Here’s a dressing room for men from Braveheart. How about this for a new sign? If this bothers you — you’re in the wrong restroom.)
THOR: How will transgendered restrooms effect the future?
LADIES ROOM: Have you ever noticed that on the USS Enterprise we’re never shown the restrooms? Maybe in the future there are no restrooms and we find an additional use for that transporter technology. “Colostomy ray on full.” You’ve heard of dark matter?
THOR: What about the rights of transgendered students?
LADIES ROOM: Look at it like this — Woman — w.o. man — Without man. As a ladies room, I don’t think in terms of close to home. You either hit the mark every time or you’re in the wrong bathroom!
THOR: Thanks for being with us today, Ladies Room.
LADIES ROOM: The seat stays down! The only thing that should go both ways is the way I open. We’re going to do our own protest called A Day Without a Restroom.
THOR: We call that Out of Order.
LADIES ROOM: Now you’re getting it.