What Does Pregnant Mean?
You’ve heard of the war on women, the war on drugs, the war on war…So who started the war on Really Really short people? ( show fingers) confused? I’ll be back after a pregnant pause…
Are you old enough to remember when we as a country actually thought it would be helpful to use the same definition of a word as everyone else does? Part of the reason America is so polarized is we use the same words but define them differently. For example to a conservative the word “HATE” means an intense and passionate dislike for someone to the progressive HATE means “You disagree with me”. Subtle difference huh? Here’s another example, it used to be common knowledge that when a woman was pregnant it meant she was having a baby. That’s why we used the word “pregnant”. We believed that archaic definition because before the advancement of science, and social justice warriors, we noticed every time a woman was pregnant , eventually a baby appeared, like magic.
As a matter of fact the definition from Merriam Webster, and face it, Merriam could be a bit wordy..she said that pregnant literally was an adjective defined as, (a woman or female animal) having a child or young developing in the uterus.
Consequently through the years THERE HAS sometimes BEEN A RELUCTANCE, DEPENDING ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES TO USE THE WORD PREGNANT, why? Because we know what it means! Thus we created synonyms to ease that reality to the easily triggered like the informal: in the family way, preggers, a bun in the oven, in the pudding club, swallowed a watermelon seed; preggo, a joey in the pouch; knocked up, clucky,
–with child, heavy with child, in a delicate condition, in an interesting condition, childing, on the way;
–gravid, parturient; -infanticipating, storked;
But my all time favorite mysterious term for pregnant is “expecting.” I’m expecting ! Expecting what? A child! Really? I didn’t know there were options? If you’re expecting a child let me save you the suspense…That’s exactly what you’re going to get! IT Already IS a child! As shocking as this might sound every pregnant human in human history when delivering a baby always ended up with ( trumpet sounds) a human! Will miracles never cease? That’s why expecting a child is redundant! Expecting would work as a term only if we never knew what we were going to get. Mrs Johnson you are the proud mother of a 8pound 2 ounce ARMADILLO!! WHOA, I WASN’T EXPECTING THAT! BTW that’s the other term we don’t need…I’m going to be a mother. No, you are a mother, so I’ll tell ya what we will give you 9 months to get used to the idea!Even though all humans know being pregnant means having a baby inside you, ever since Roe V Wade we started categorizing babies based on their stage of development. See every human starts at the beginning and stops at the end. For example, the developing human individual from the time of implantation to the end of the eighth week after conception is called an embryo. It’s day 1 of its human life so its really short. That’s what eliminating an embryo on purpose actually is… an attack on short people!! Another term for a developing human from usually two months after conception to birth is a fetus. Still short, but getting bigger!! My gosh if we start eliminating humans arbitrarily because of your prejudice to short people when does it end? I’m only 5/6, is there going to be a time in the future where my personhood is suspect simply because I can’t dunk a basketball, or for that matter, reach the top shelf? Of course progressives are the people who believe women have a right to terminate the baby. Here is what I find historically ironic.. historically everyone agreed that if any person needed extra protection it was a baby since they are vulnerable and completely at your mercy in regards to their safety. Harming a baby was one of the most egregious crimes you could commit. It was so bad some people even used it as a disparaging remark directed towards returning Vietnam soldiers. Some people actually called them baby killers. Apparently in the 60’s killing babies was still a no no. Yet here we are in 2019 and some people of this same political persuasion believe that women have a right to kill their babies if they don’t want them.so apparently to them calling someone a baby killer is a compliment! Again folks define your terms so I can keep up. I cannot wait for them to explain that concept to God with a straight face. Oh, and just for perspective sake , you know how many Americans died in 10 yrs in Vietnam? 58,220. You know how many babies have been aborted since Roe v Wade? Ready? 45,110,251 all because of this war on short people. So for all you social justice warriors out there we are excited for you to join us in our quest to stop the carnage on short people and defend their right to personhood so they can be born and begin to administer the payback to our kids that they have inflicted on us. That is what equality means!!
PCFree is equality!
Be sure to subscribe to Brad Stine Has Issues’ YouTube Channel so that you don’t miss a moment of Brad’s shenanigans both in front of and behind the scenes!