Biden’s Most Popular Responses to Inflation
Welcome to the Idiocracy—Banana Joe’s Republic, episode 2 of Season 2. I’m your host and Caucus and Spackle Committee member, Thor Ramsey, fighting the rising tide of wokeness one joke at a time.
Today we’re covering Banana Joe Biden’s Most Popular Responses to Inflation and 10 Things You Should Know about the Dobb’s case.
I’ll be playing the part of Joe Biden. I have to explain that to you because you won’t be able to tell from my impression of him. Okay, Biden’s most popular responses to inflation:
- “Did you hear about the Rittenhouse verdict?”
- “I appointed some people to take care of that. And to make sure they could get the job done, I appointed three more people. So, you see, when it comes to inflation, I’ve made a lot of appointments. And have you talked to Kamala? If you do, tell her to call us. We can’t find her anywhere. There are only two people I listen to—Dr. Phil and Dr. Jill. And I think I’m married to one of ‘em.”
- “Eat more raw chicken. Once you have salmonella who cares what things cost? And, by the way, I know eat more raw chicken is really close to a certain fast food chains slogan of ‘eat more chicken,’ but I’m encouraging you to do that on Sunday as well. Are they still closed on Sunday? The way things are going, they’ll soon be closed on Saturday’s too. Wait ’til my mandates hit. They’ll close down every day. And I don’t mean mandates in any sexist way. Womandates are fine too. Humandates. Theydates. Youdates. Come on, Man… Woman… Trans Am. Help me out, Barrack. Oh, that’s Kamala. I didn’t know he brought his wife. Michelle who?”
- “Inflation is a really touchy issue, because, as President, I don’t pay for squat.”
- “Prices have gone up more than they have in 30 years. And I’m the only one really old enough to remember that. Or at least I’m told I should remember it. Where am I again?”
- “How does inflation hurt your pocketbook? I tell you it saves your pocketbook, because you’re not using it as much. What do you mean they don’t say pocketbook anymore? Pocketbook? No. Notebook? No. That’s not Hunter’s notebook. And if it is Hunter’s, that stuff’s cleaning powder.”
- “More than a third of Americans say the economy is the most pressing problem facing the country. The rest are rich.”
- “The overall price index rose 0.9% in October alone and that might sound frightening to me, if I knew what it meant. Isn’t up good and down’s bad? Is inflation as hard on dumb people? That is the question to me.”
- “If people are worried that they don’t have enough to eat, just remember, intermittent fasting is good for you. Think of our current inflation as my diet mandate.”
- “I’m not sure why you’re so concerned about inflation when the government is giving you so much money that you don’t even want a job. I’d say that’s a pretty good economy when you have time to play enough videos games that you get all the references in Free Guy. You’re welcome Ryan Gosling. It wasn’t him. It was some Ryan. Reynolds. Burt Reynolds. Are we back to that trans am thing?”
Speaking of inflation, some women still get pregnant. The Supreme Court [supreme court building clip] just heard arguments for the most vital piece of pro-life legislation since “Thou shalt not kill” was instituted, what is known as the Dobb’s case, which will allow for states to enforce restrictions or even bans on abortion.
Oral arguments were heard this week and everyone agreed, you can’t get pregnant from oral arguments.
10 Things You Should Know About the Dobb’s Case:
- It doesn’t involve Kyle Rittenhouse. But it will probably need his protection.
- The only middle ground the judges can find is… there should be a vegan option for lunch.
- The pro-abortion lawyers, on those rare occasions when they happened to mention there was a baby involved, argued about the viability of the baby, which in their reasoning really boils down to this—babies are not cuddly until they’re born. And even then some don’t ripen for a while.
- You don’t have to be particularly religious to believe that cutting a baby to shreds inside the mother’s womb is horrible. But you do need to realize when you say, “Oh, my God,” you’re actually speaking directly to someone.
- A woman’s right to abortion is guaranteed by the Constitution in that section… oh, wait, it looks like that section has been cut away and removed. And it’s not the C-section.
- Justice Sotomayor compared unborn children to dead people, in so far as one is and one is soon to be. (If Roe stands that is.)
Now many ask, “Won’t overturning Roe v. Wade lead women to back alley abortions again?” So, you are concerned about someone dying. Just not the baby. Here’s the thing. When you go to murder someone there’s always the chance you yourself could be murdered. It goes with the territory. (If the mother dies, it cuts down on Planned Parenthood’s repeat business.)
80% of Americans support abortion rights, until they talk to Ray Comfort. Then they change their minds. So, you really shouldn’t take a stand until you get a chance to talk to Ray. People on the left call him Ray Uncomfortable.
If these rights go to the states, millions of women in red states would find themselves with no abortion rights at all. “California here we come!”
The world goes crazy over baby Yoda, but baby in belly, not so much. I’ll tell you Planned Parenthood’s worst nightmare—an aborted baby who could use the force.
If Roe is overturned our country will suddenly lurch 50 years into the past, which ironically would bring inflation down.
That’s our program for today. I want to thank our director, Jefferson Drexler, our executive producer, Joel Fieri, our social media master, Danny Avila, and my cowriter Ron McGehee. I’d also like to thank Ron Bass for our new intro graphics.
If you liked this episode, but sure to click like, because there is no “loved it” button. Even if you only found it mildly amusing, click like, because we might be funnier in the future. If you want to fight the rising tide of wokeness in this country, click like to join a truly peaceful protest. And please subscribe, because that’s the most meaningful vote of all.
I’m Thor Ramsey and I hope you’re less woke, America!