Once You are Real, You can’t be UGLY

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I believe you Marianne Williamson. Really and truly I do; but as I sit and type this blog, my fear bellows at me– who do you think you are??

I was inspired two nights ago to offer to teach mindfulness meditation to Congress. Why? Well, selfishly, I would love to hear more compassionate words of support, unity and connection from our leaders. In Proverbs 14:31 we know whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him. Meditation is known to cultivate deep compassion for self and others.

I wrote about this moment of what felt like Divine guidance on Facebook and within minutes had dozens of women offering support, words of encouragement and brainstorming sessions. I am probably the least political person you have ever met, in other words, perfect for this job. As I share my writing out in the world and people often respond with how very brave I am to be so vulnerable, I actually hear, “You are crazy. There is something very wrong.” You know why? Because we ALL have the inner critic!!  But meditation has taught me to identify with the inner watcher, first and foremost.

I feel caught however, between taking that leap of faith and knowing how easy it would be to not venture away from South Jersey and into an abyss of bureaucracy. We live in a charming small town and are very happy. But an energy forming critical mass is arising desiring change and I trust will support this kind of genuine service for the greater good.

Senator Tim Ryan has been leading meditation for a number of months and from what I have read, not many have taken advantage. I don’t have any idea what makes this offering any different but I am trusting that if enough people hear about the grassroots effort, change can happen. Buzzword it may be, but mindfulness is often misunderstood – even otherwise savvy cultural commentators often confuse it with ‘mindlessness’ when it’s anything but.

It was exciting to tweet out to Speaker Boehner and Senate Majority leader McConnell offering to come down to DC to follow where the Spirit might lead in sharing the latest study providing 40 reasons why everyone should meditate. My heart felt a surge of confidence that the time was NOW to fulfill my calling.

But less than three years ago, I sat and cried out to God, “I can’t do this! I cannot teach meditation to the men in prison. I don’t know enough. I am just an ordinary mom and have only been practicing for a few months.” To which I heard very clearly, ” GO! You have my Love. That is Enough.”

And it always has been.

I have now taught many the tools that have brought peace of mind (behind the walls as well as the general public) when I did not even know the first thing about the many benefits; just a few of which are alleviating depression and anxiety while increasing attention-span and focus. All the while, I am feeling more REAL, ALIVE, and on PURPOSE.

It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

There’s a mysterious unfolding that begins on the inside. The breath carries us toward truth where we feel more like ourselves than ever before. This is the gift I would love to share with the whole world. It’s THAT beautiful.

It will take a village. But we each need to do our part.

This is mine.