Do you ever wake up so sad because the world is overrun with violence, grief + disbelief in the healing power of love? and your own pounding (occasionally violent) heart threatens to beat itself out of your chest…
I am led to pray over my friends and family. It’s as if as I extend each blessing, I can already feel love returning to me.
But then I have this feeling ARISE-– it is so unsettling, I am not me at all…I am other than myself.
I do not fit in my old skin any longer– I do not recognize these hands, this voice–
Next, I am asking them to pray for me to grow a new wineskin. This is where we as Christians often fall short in the recognition of what needs to die, and HOW TO LET IT GO. Contemplative + yoga practices do a better job. At the completion of each yoga journey, we lie in Savasana or final rest. In this sacred space we ask for help in dying to the false self so that we might be resurrected into the fullness of our being.
But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. I Peter 2:9
As I seek a safe place within, I retreat to the womb/tomb– AKA my meditation cushion. Except, I cannot sit upright. I am lying on an extra-large beanbag chair and I am shouting, “I am so weird!! I am so weird!!”
As expelled sound touches the pain, my arms and fists punch the helpless chair. Suddenly I am still..mind quiet. The squawking voices of descent have departed.
Staying present, I notice a buzzing in the room– an insect. I say to her, “What is it you have to tell me with that humming?”
Ahhh..thank you. What a beautiful message!
All those voices out in the world– the naysayer, the hater, the judge, the thwarter, the indolent-
They represent voices in you that are afraid of the Truth.
The Truth is you are all that and a bag of chips. You can complete the task set-out before you. You have the tools, support + wisdom.
This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Eph 1:5
I feel Jesus reconciling my weird, rejected one—Calling her home to the table. There’s a seat for yours too and not only is it set with candles blazing and a white tablecloth but the finest feast is laid out for her. God the Father then says — I made that weird, rejected one: She is deeply loved.
I do believe the skin is shedding. I do believe the grief is complete (for today).
Arise!! Arise + just be you, the natural creation made in my image. You need never feel broken again– sometimes Darkness can show you the LIGHT.