If you have not read yesterdays article The Transformation of an Image you should read that before this to see the bigger picture of all that has happened. In retrospect I probably should have titled it Transmutation and not transformation, but it is what it is.
I realized some things as I transformed and then transmuted the statue. It was not just the statue, but a symbolism of something deeper – both for My Goddess and for me. A deep understanding that has forever changed me and some perspectives of Guides/ Deities within that. I realize though, in order for you to understand, I must take you through a journey. So let us begin…
In the Beginning
I started actively working with The Morrigan almost a decade ago. She quickly became what I called my Primary. Other Guides would come and go for lessons here and there, but She was ever present. I have written a lot about this but summed it up in the article My Journey with The Morrigan.
With Her guidance, I dove deep into all the aspects and skills of foundation building, transformation, perspective, dualities, boundaries, channeling/ communicating, and more – all the tools I would need for all that comes next. I shared, taught, and guided others through these processes. For me, teaching isn’t just about someone else learning – It allows me to go even deeper, seeing different perspectives, showing me how it works for and applies to others who are different from me. There is personal growth that also happens when guiding and sharing with others.
I knew deep down The Morrigan had always been with me, and will always be with me – and I suppose from a perspective that is still a true statement – but we are not there yet in this story.
Saying Goodbye – or Saying Hello
For the past year The Morrigan has been telling me the time is up. That I needed to move forward from this state of being, from these types of lessons, and to say goodbye. She gave me the time of last Winter Solstice. I saw it, I knew it, but I was not accepting it, not in the way I was taking it – how I was viewing what that meant.
How do you let go of a foundational piece of who you have become? How can you let go of a bond so close that it is ingrained into you, a part of your soul? I was looking at all of this from a standpoint of grief – of loss – and not what it really was. We are limited sometimes by the capacity of human understanding, and I was experiencing that limitation in this.
As One Goes, One Comes
The Goddess Hel is not new to me. We have worked off and on over the years in many areas and lessons. As The Morrigan was stepping back though, Hel was stepping forward. She had changed. Her energy felt different, Her image had changed, and in reflection I can see that She was taking over where I was going next.
Still I rebelled. Not against Hel, but of the appearance of the situation, how it felt. Hel replacing The Morrigan. I did not understand the reality of what was really happening. I was holding onto what I knew and loved. What I worked so hard to build – my bond with The Morrigan. Why could They not both exist within my life… I understand now, and it is not what you are probably imaging.
I am not a person to shy away from change and transformation – I always embrace it and thrive in the space of it. I love it and welcome the times of tower because I know what comes next – something new, something different, something rising up. So why was I refusing to go through it here? The answer comes as I reshape the statue – because this is not transformation, it is transmutation, and there is a difference.
The Lesson in the Statue
The more I worked on altering the effigy for Hel, little did I know I was also altering all that I had rebelled against. With each change of the symbol, a change was also occurring within me.
The change in the statue wasn’t just the surface changes you see – It was changing the essence of the statue, its meaning, its representation. Taking a statue that was intended for one Goddess and transmutating into another.
The act of altering the statue was an outward symbolism of the act that was occurring within me. The transmutation of understanding, perspective, and of the self. Perhaps it is another reason why it had to be that statue and none other. Because I was missing the true understanding of what was happening, and what it really meant – so I needed another way to see the perspective.
Transmutation vs Transformation
There is a difference between transformation and transmutation. This article Transformation vs Transmutation I think encompasses the concept very well.
I think it can be viewed well through the lens of the moth, which is interesting because the Luna Moth has deep significance for me and the Goddess Hel. The moth changes its entire being when moving from the state of a caterpillar to the state of a moth. Its soul, memories, the core essence of what makes it who it is stays intact. It does not lose those, or all the lessons it has learned along the way. Yet its body, its capabilities, how it is seen, and how it moves through the world has completely changed.
Guides through Patterns
I think Oliva summed up the perspective of Death the best – Death itself is one giant pattern of energy and has various Spirits/ Deities/ Guides to help us connect, understand that pattern, and all the parts within it. This applies to any large abstract pattern like this. Love is another example of that type of pattern.
Humans are limited in what we can comprehend because we see through the understanding of the human experience. Thus to really connect and dive deep into all the intricacies of a pattern like Death, having a Guide that we can connect with, communicate with, ask questions of, and take us through lessons pertaining to the pattern is extremely beneficial. I understand this concept very well. I spent about 25 years on my spiritual path without forming those connections with Deities and about 10 with. My growth, the speed and fluidity of it was exponential with a Deity vs the work I had been doing before. It is not that it wasn’t working, or I was not getting anywhere. I had other types of Guides such as elementals, but They too are a little more abstract to work with – it was much slower and to be honest, not as powerful for me.
Transmutation of Deities
I had to explain all of this for you to understand my perspective of what is happening now. The understanding I was missing in all that was happening. This was not growth in the form of transformation – it is a transmutation, and not just of me but of my Guide.
My large energy pattern is Death and all it encompasses. There are two ways one can view the Faces or Guides of a pattern like this.
The First: There are many different Guides for different aspects of the pattern. All connected in the sense of Death but completely separate Beings.
The Second: One Guide with many faces. Each face tailored to your needed growth, lessons, personality, and that aspect of the Large Pattern.
I think both of these can be true and false at the same time, depending on how you perceive it – and how you perceive it is the key I think. For me, I think the truth lies somewhere in-between and not fully comprehendable.
Yes, my time with The Morrigan is done. Those lessons, that work is over. I have known that part for a long time. I even publicly announced earlier this year that I was done teaching these aspects, at least in the one-on-one and sharing ways I have been all these years. I think the final nail in that coffin was the completion of the Goddess Book. It is a culmination of all that work, all the lessons, all Her words and all the aspects of foundational work. Everything housed in one place and written in a way that when a person goes through it, it requires them to think deeper – reflect longer – and shape the work for themselves.
The Morrigan didn’t leave in the way we think though – in the perspective most share in a good-bye. No, my Goddess transmutated into another form. The energy of the presence is not the same, the face is not the same, the work is not the same, nothing is the same – except the core. My Guide is not gone but She will never take that form again, because in transmutation there is no going back.
*I also have to pause here and consider that perhaps the core energy, what continues as the constant, may be the pattern of Death itself. Taking on forms and faces in order to communicate and guide me in a way my human mind can comprehend and work with. I rule out nothing here.
My Goddess is still my Goddess – my Guide, still the bond of my Guide – but also completely changed. Just as the statue was trannsmutated from one to another – so was my Guide. From The Morrigan to Hel. It took understanding the process through the lens of that project to really understand what that meant. It has been happening for a long time. Their infinite patience slowly trying to get me to understand and embrace this – to move into this.
As my Goddess was transmutating through the past year, so was I. We are both on the other side of it now. Hel is not The Morrigan, yet they are in a larger scale perspective as it pertains to my journey within Death. The Morrigan was the Psychopomp for me in this transmutation. All the lessons, skills, personal growth, finding the right way to share, community works, were all about preparing and equipping me for the next book in my life. That is actually a good analogy between transformation and transmutation – next chapter is transformations – next book in the series is the transmutation.
Now it is Hel curating the next book, and together we are writing it. Not starting from scratch, because the origin book has already been written. Not a new start, but this is the continuation of a long story.
I circled the drain on my own, spinning and wasting time, because I could not see or understand the full scope of all of this. I could not comprehend transmutation in the context of all of this, in the context of my Guide, and the focus was on a loss that was never a loss, not really.
I hope all of this made sense. That you can see the process, the perspectives, the nuances. You may completely disagree and that is ok, we can only be true to our own experiences. For me, I have never felt better. So sure of my path, how I am approaching it, the work I am going into personally, the content I am guiding others through now, and of my Goddess – my Guide – my Partner in all of this.
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