How brave are you when you are anonymous?

I’ve mentioned before that I read way too much celebrity garbage.  It’s a dirty little habit I’m still trying to kick.  What always annoys me about reading it though it that now-a-days any one can anonymously post mean things in reference to any one picture or story.  People are just awful.  I’ve read people say horrible things about Heidi Klum & Seal’s babies, calling them “monkeys”, & calling her a “n*gger” lover,” etc.  It’s not all racial ~ it’s just plain mean stuff.

But, how hard is it to be mean to someone when you can do it anonymously?

Enter the “Honesty Box” application on Facebook.  It’s a program whereby folks can write messages to you anonymously, revealing only if they are male or female and you have a chance to respond, but not knowing who you are responding to.  At first I loved the honesty box because so many people were always writing super nice things to me, encouraging things about my faith, my family, my work with InterVarsity or my blog.  But then last year, I got this message from a woman:

“it is easier for you to show love to those you feel that are like you..to those u mite not understand well i feel u can be condemning, well maybe not condemning but not so much of the open ear that you have offered others in the past.”

So I wrote back:

“okay, i’m interested. Can you give me a little bit more info on what your talking about? Honestly, I would love to know b/c if there is a problem I’d like to fix it. I know my writing/blogging can come off with a bit of an edge, so there could be a misunderstanding… but if not, please do let me know. Either way, I appreciate your feedback! God bless -Grace”

And then nothing no response.  That got me super frustrated.  I don’t mind that you called me out, but I do mind that you don’t have the decency to at least respond back upon inquiry especially since you chose to call me out anonymously.  I mean, seriously, how hard would that have been?  I almost cancelled honesty box after that, but just forgot.

And then today, I got this slightly more straight-forward message (also from a woman):

“I think u are kinda fake. I dont know if you are nice or not. I know a lot of people that are not crazy about u. I think ur kid is beautiful but u get waaaaaaay to jealous of others. U need to not be so clicky and showy and focus on solely advancing GOd’s kingdom.”

So I wrote back:

“Give me some examples. If there are ways that I can improve myself -whether that be spiritually, or with friends- or in any way, I’m generally pretty open to that. I don’t consider myself to be “fake,” b/c I don’t typically mind sharing whats on my heart whether it makes me look impressive or not. Even sharing if I’m jealous or jaded or whatever. Your entitled to your opinion, but I think some concrete examples would really help me if it is indeed an issue I have. And I do try to focus my life (& my life’s work) on advancing God’s Kingdom, but I’m not perfect & if that’s your expectation of me, I will let you down. Again, examples will help. Thanks for your opinion. -grace”

This was about an hour ago, but for the love of everything that’s good in the world I hope that whoever keeps a running tab of who does and doesn’t like me, finds me “fake” and “clicky” and “jealous” has the decency of giving me examples.  I think the first comment didn’t so much bug me, but this one actually hurt my feelings.  I think it’s kind of mean.  For example, if you don’t know if I’m a nice person or not, why are you extrapolating that I must be fake?  So, yeah, I’m going to wait for a response and after a couple of weeks I’m cancelling the honesty box application.

With “friends” like these who needs enemies, right?!?!  I want anyone who has anything to say to me about any problems they think I may or may not have to approach me with love and like a decent human being ~ in person, or in a private message, or on my wall, so that their not hiding behind the protective cover of the anonymous honesty box.  Unless, you are lavishing some one with kind words or encouragement I think it’s completely emotionally immature and a sign of stunted emotional health in relationships.  (Of course, I could just be genuinely hurt & angry right now).

Lastly, I aint even no celebrity!  I will be doggoned if I have people talking smack about me anonymously on the internet & I aint even nobody special.  I don’t want to have to complain about the “horror” or being a celebrity unless I am one for crying out loud.

Let’s just try -just try- to be decent human beings, mature human beings, shall we?

Okay, I’m putting my emotional self to sleep now.