“N as in Negro”

Recently I was ordering a personalized item for Ransom over the phone.  This is how the horrible conversation went…

Operator: Rancid?

Me: No, RanSOM.

Operator: Ramsum?

Me: No, RaN. RanSOM. And som, like the sound of some, s-o-m-e

Operator: r-a-m? And then s-o-m-e? Ramsome.

Me: No, r-a-n. N.N.N. (along with her, getting frustrated). Not some, just like the sound of some, but just s-o-M.

Operator: Can, you please spell out his name each letter with a word for it?

Me: R as in rain. A as in aardvark.  N as in… um, uh… negro. (inside my head: what on earth are you thinking???)

Operator: long, uncomfortable pregnant pause.

Me: long, uncomfortable pregnant pause.

Operator: uh, oooo —kay.

Me: S as in stupid. (because that’s what I was feeling). O as in… um, uh…ostrich?  (oh my gosh, could this be going any worse?) M as in might.

Operator: oh, Ransom! oh. (as if disappointed)

Me: Yep, Ransom.

——-

Who says “n as in negro,” I mean seriously, what was going on in my head?  She must have thought I was the biggest flaming racist stuck in the 60’s.  I just couldn’t think of another “n” word.  Reading too much Malcolm X I guess… 🙂