My cerebral hyponxia and myocardial infarction. =(

Drowning: death from asphyxia due to suffocation caused by a liquid entering the lungs and preventing the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

Is it possible to drown in sorrows, laundry, emails, worry, kid’s crying, exhaustion, snotty tissues, work conference calls, cooking & cleaning?

If it is, then friends, I have suffered from the worst case of cerebral hypnoxia & myocardial infarction.

EVER.

I feel so. obnoxiously. overwhelmed.

Today is one of those days I feel like I just can’t handle it. I feel like I can’t do the juggling dance of the 20 hr. a week work-horse, with the stay-at-home-Mama thing, with the 10-hr. a week Master’s program with the whole wife-home-owner thing.

I like the blogging thing.  The blogging thing I can handle.  Perhaps because it’s safer?  No one really cares if I mess this up! (And ya’ll are always so gracious when I spell things wrong)!

(which is why I just LOVE my blog readers)!

But what if I mess up one of the more weightier areas of my life?

It’s not okay to beat my husband because he buttered my toast wrong!

I know everyone goes through this stage…I remember my single, child-less friend crying herself a river when she was in medical school about feeling these same things: overwhelmed, scared, tired, worried, exhausted.

And ALL my friends with any number of children under 5 feel the same way: spent. Dirty from lack of showering. Rolly from lack of working out.

So, I know I just need to push through…knowing that God has called me to IV, to care my for my babies/hubster/home, etc.

The other day I read something somewhere (so helpful, right?) about how Christians are living in other parts of the world —under cover, in hiding, beaten, etc.  It was likely in China where things are awful for Jesus-followers.

Anyway, I was thinking about how God has called me to do this InterVarsity thing.

I was thinking about how my number 1 complaint is NOT the fundraising or our meager salary.

My number 1 complaint is the level of complexity the job presents for Dave & I.  Both working together (an extremely delicate dance) AND the complexity of having different and varying travel schedules AND the complexity of my job –managing multiple campuses across 4 states while raising $100k while overseeing a local chapter and a regional conference.

That is my number 1 complaint.

And when I put them together (the beaten Pastors in china) or the complexity of my job, I’d rather have my job.  (I don’t like pain.  At all).

So, I have to trust that God has given me what I need to be able to handle the complex life He’s called me to.

I’m trying to lean on Him today…

…trying,