Come Hither Men, For I Have Sex Demons

Come Hither Men, For I Have Sex Demons September 13, 2013

I was sitting there at the bar in a ritzy Manhattan hotel when he walked in.  He smiled at me.  I literally turned around.  He’s smiling at the glamazon that must be seated behind me because I am wearing grey skinny jeans, a bright red t-shirt that reads “EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT MY BLOG,” & red gym shoes. I’ve been walking the streets of Manhattan for 8 hrs.  I am sweaty, my lipstick is  caked.  I am not the picture of sexy.  I am the picture of what I actually was: a married Mama of two so excited to spend 2 days alone in the city for a blogging conference she wore RED KICKS (red ring & red sweater but who’s counting?)

nyc

Life stage be damned, he sits next to me and engages in small talk.  He “loves writers” apparently.  He buys a bottle of expensive wine though I tell him I don’t like wine. “You will like this wine,” he says.  I don’t.  He does not hear me, he sees me.  He’s wearing a $5,000 suit, a $30,000 watch.  God only knows about the beautiful, beautiful shoes.  He’s 50 at least.  Maybe pushing 60.  An old Italian man, perhaps a grandpa and I think he’s hitting on me.  Then an invitation to his room.  I say no thank you.  He tells me he “doesn’t give up that easy.” I tell him I’m married, he doesn’t care. Have another drink he says. I haven’t finished the first glass. Again, “come up?”  He’s interested in me, he says.  In the 5 whole minutes we’ve chatted.  He’s not unattractive to me, but he’s  much older and it’s gross.  I think of the scene in Something’s Gotta Give when Jack Nicholson has a heart attack trying to fool around with a girl half this age.

Is this love or is this going to be a one night stand?

Read the rest over at A Deeper Story?

 

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  • I know how you feel and I want to offer you
    HOPE. I have come to learn that Lust does attract Lust. When you are
    delivered, the men won’t notice you anymore. It will actually be weird
    at first because you’re used to the strange attention but then suddenly
    you will realize YOU are free. It’s not your fault that you have lust.
    It was inflicted upon you through your innocence. You can start by
    rebuking it once every morning. “I rebuke Lust.” Then find a church that
    offers deliverance. I’d recommend a Charismatic one but it does not
    have to be.

    I have found great hope in God’s redemption. Most people won’t understand you, but that’s okay. God does. There is freedom and complete healing. Don’t let any religious person make you think this is your
    fault. It’s not. And the enemy would not attack you so hard if he didn’t
    want to stop you from your calling. Because he knows you have a high
    one. And God will get you there… Press into God, He’s your deliverer, he
    longs to set you free.

  • Thank-you so much for sharing these thoughts. I also experienced sexual abuse at a young age and for awhile struggled with “what is it about me that screams sex?”. Thankfully, the Lord also filled my life with men who saw me and not my sexuality. Letters/posts like Mrs. Hall’s fill me with so much sorrow and anger; your post hits dead center on one of the main reasons why.