November 23, 2017

It’s the season of Thanksgiving. But are you ready to see the blessing of your human wholeness? Last night, at the Intensive Learning Community (an ongoing group I lead), a participant (I’ll call her Amy) was feeling mixed about celebrating Thanksgiving. “Now that I understand what a myth I’ve been believing [about the Pilgrims and American Indians having a harvest dinner together], and am beginning to see what really happened, I don’t know what to do. And now Charlie Rose, too–?! I... Read more

October 29, 2017

(Want to know more about healthy anger? Listen to my podcast #11, Anger is Power.) Knowing what to do with anger is very tricky for us humans. We have a shared understanding that we shouldn’t hurt each other (the Golden Rule and all). But we don’t know what we should do with all of that energy that builds up when we feel frustrated or intruded upon. Be cool and just sit with it? Blow off steam and give someone a... Read more

August 8, 2017

Here’s the single skill that will end the most difficult of power dynamics: S.E.W. In my post called “Power Dynamics: We know ’em when when we see ’em,” I described how lapsing into instinctive power differences is what behind every relationship conflict. While the magical experience of falling in love is what draws most couples together, the honeymoon ends when one person tries to control the other. Since no one–literally no one, beginning with infants who are old enough to have a... Read more

July 9, 2017

Have you wondered what you can believe lately? What I think? Believe you. Unearth the you that is ever-present underneath all the years of conditioning, and believe what you know. I’ve heard it over and over, have you? These times are unprecedented. We’ve never had a POTUS like this, a government as dysfunctional. Meanwhile, the intensity of animosity within our country seems unmatched, the level of hostility unparalleled. Of course, there is no way to measure any of this. The Internet, and... Read more

June 2, 2017

Do you want to know how to truly influence those around you? How to move out of control battles and find ways for everyone to get everything they want? There really is a way to do this–and it will take you right into that magic river of flow. Let’s do an experiment. Imagine that I’ve got my hand out, with fingers up and palm facing you. As you visualize putting your hand up against mine, now feel me push against you.... Read more

May 15, 2017

Does one’s inner state really matter that much? What if what is going on inside of you really is all that matters? Find out more…   I recently asked “Do You Live in a Friendly Universe?”. In that blog post, I reflected on the importance of one’s inner state and how to connect in with a larger, expanded reality. A reader, Samantha, posed this thoughtful comment: “…I’d like to point out a couple of caveats that are important when are approaching any... Read more

May 5, 2017

  You may have seen my blog challenging you to stop consuming two types of news, and then to add in a daily dose of creativity creativity. (Here’s that post.)  I took my own advice. I stopped watching Rachel Maddow, and I stopped reading Huffington Post.  What a relief. I added in creative time nearly every day. I painted watercolors, I played my guitar, went to Paint ‘n Sip at the BC3. Here’s my painting: We went to the new Boulder Michael’s craft store... Read more

May 4, 2017

  Today I’m sharing my biggest discovery, culled out of over 40,000 hours of working with clients. All problems in relationships come from entangled power dynamics. I’ve tried so many approaches to getting issues to shift, both with my clients and in my own relationship. Speaking the other’s love language. Watching the ratio of criticisms to appreciations. Feeling empathy for the other’s hidden wounds and saying the right healing words. Responding to bids for attention. Reflective listening. Enjoying new experiences together. All... Read more

April 20, 2017

  One of the main challenges of our work has been to find something that people like better than the rush they get from adrenaline. And we’ve found it–creative expression. –Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D   Are you up for something that might push you a little, but will ultimately help you feel better and better? Keep reading… I lead a group called “Embodiers of Evolutionary Power.” The acronym is fun to play with (especially if you make it “People Embodying Evolutionary Power”–particularly timely... Read more

April 16, 2017

Forgive: The sense of “to give up desire or power to punish” (late Old English) . -–Online Etymological Dictionary  Our species has a proclivity for revenge, for punishment. We tend to be concrete and literal: if I’m ok, then you do something and I experience pain, it makes sense to me to blame you and then believe you deserve to be punished. It seems reasonable, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, this paradigm immediately disempowers me as I totally miss all the ways... Read more

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