When my kids were young, I was a super mom. I could dry every tear, kiss every boo boo and scare away any bogey man.
One of my daughters approached me with a broken toy once. She said, “Mommy fix this. Mommy fix everything.”
Those were glorious days of mothering filled with joy and fun. Stressful, yes, but definitely delightful.
As time went on, I lost my fix-it superpowers.
I couldn’t fix my then husband’s cancer.
I couldn’t fix my daughter’s drug addiction.
I couldn’t fix my other daughter’s mental health issues.
I couldn’t fix my other children’s learning disabilities, although I could advocate for intervention to help them.
I couldn’t fix my marriage which crumbled under the stress of it all.
I wore myself out trying to fix things.
It affected my physical and mental health.
With therapy and learning about boundaries, I adopted surrender and the well-loved prayer:
“O God and Heavenly Father, grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed, courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen.”
When chaos and needs are all around you, the sane response that is kindest to yourself and most empowering to those around you is surrender.
Those around us who are struggling are entitled to the dignity of their struggle. Would it profit them to have a miracle working fairy to sweep in and solve all their problems? What would they learn?
In my own life, I prayed for such a fairy, but none arrived. My knight in shining armor had the wrong directions and never materialized.
The dignity of my own struggle forced me to grow, to be strong and resourceful.
2 Corinthians 12:9–10 says:
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV)
With decades of marriage and motherhood struggle, I see time and time again where God works above and beyond and through my weakness to show his strength.
That strength gives me the courage and encouragement to carry on, to continue to pray, to always hold out hope for the peace and healing of each of my family members.
God is still in the business of redemption – redeeming relationships, redeeming lives.
I remain in prayer for this.
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