What Can I Do?

WHAT CAN I DO?

I was surprised when John,

who helped save my life, came

down with liver cancer. He had

no interest in going through this

the way I did. He didn’t want to

talk. He just stared at me for hours.

I so wanted to be there for him. All

I could do was sit with him in silence.

I read books while he slept, held his

hand, tried to slow his breathing when

he was agitated. All this to say, keep

your friend company the best you can.

Give your heart to what you sense

brings her relief. If she likes to be

with dogs, be with dogs. If she likes

to smell lavender, smell lavender. If

she likes to watch The Iron Chef,

watch The Iron Chef. Ask gentle

questions, expecting nothing. Listen

for her remaining aliveness. Mist

those tender roots with time, the

one thing she doesn’t have. Love

her into some small adventure

the two of you can enter, like

chasing light or watching the

first silent film. To be a second

self is a vaccine against despair.

A Question to Walk With: In conversation with a friend or loved one, describe someone who has been a second self for you.

Sounds True recently published a new, expanded edition of Inside the Miracle: Enduring Suffering, Approaching Wholeness, which gathers twenty-eight years of my writing and teaching about suffering, healing, and wholeness, including thirty-nine new poems and prose pieces not yet published. One of the great transforming passages in my life was having cancer in my mid-thirties. This experience unraveled the way I see the world and made me a student of all spiritual paths. With a steadfast belief in our aliveness, I hope what’s in this book will help you meet the transformation that waits in however you’re being forged. What Can I Do? is an excerpt from the book.