but I can’t tell if it’s using us up or lighting the way. Back from Prague, I tell my father of the Jewish Cemetery so strangely full of life and ask if he had to hide being a Jew. He says, “Of course. A nail sticking up will get hammered.” At 89, he can barely walk, has set up chairs in all the rooms, so he can look for where he left the secret. He says, “The places get shorter.... Read more

I’m teaching in Santa Barbara. The sun is setting. The group is having dinner. Someone from Alaska asks me what kind of dog Mira was. How can I possibly say? I start but stop and close my eyes. Another woman offers softly, “I understand.” In the morning, there’s a man in a wheelchair in our group. He has a service dog, Forest, a golden retriever. Forest is beautiful but I can’t pet another dog, not just yet. I’m afraid, if... Read more

I was at the window when a fly near the latch was on its back spinning— legs furious, going nowhere.   I thought to swat it but something in its struggle was too much my own.   It kept spinning and began to tire. Without moving closer, I exhaled steadily, my breath a sudden wind, and the fly found its legs, rubbed its face and flew away.   I continued to stare at the latch hoping that someday, the breath... Read more

I have been called heroic for merely surviving, which is like championing an eagle for flying to its nest   and I have been condemned as selfish for following the call of truth, which is like blaming a turtle for finding the deep   and I have escaped death more than once but not the dying.   x   I have been worn slowly by experience and torn apart instantly by crisis and revelation and all I can say is... Read more

After four months of aggressive chemo, I had to have a test known as First Pass, in order to determine if the chemo had damaged my heart. Through an IV, I was injected with a radioactive dye, which made me feel flush and hot. Then I watched the screen as the first pass of blood moved through the chambers of my heart. It was the only time I’ve seen my physical heart. Ever since, the heart and how it works... Read more

Chapter 24 of the Tao te Ching by the legendary Lao Tzu offers helpful direction about the difference between self-awareness and self-deception. Let’s look at this one couplet. He who has power over others can’t empower himself. Lao Tzu suggests that we participate in life, we can’t control it. The effort to have power over others is a timeless form of denial of this great fact. Feeding the illusion of control diverts us from facing the truth of life, which... Read more

O Endless Creator, Force of Life, Seat of the Unconscious, Dharma, Atman, Ra, Qalb, Dear Center of our Love, Christlight, Yaweh, Allah, Mawu, Mother of the Universe…   Let us, when swimming with the stream, become the stream. Let us, when moving with the music, become the music. Let us, when rocking the wounded, become the suffering.   Let us live deep enough till there is only one direction, and slow enough till there is only the beginning of time,... Read more

Beyond all that pain has taught me, the soft well at the base of time has opened, and life touching me there has turned me into a flower that prays for rain. Now I understand: to blossom is to pray, to wilt and shed is to pray, to turn to mulch is to pray, to stretch in the dark is to pray, to break surface after great months of ice is to pray, and to squeeze love up the stalky... Read more

Expectation is premeditated disappointment. —Sogyal Rinpoche Everyone’s life journey eventually arrives at a precipice or fork in the road. At some point we will come to the end of a path and no longer know our way. Hard as this is, this is where the inner journey begins, when all we’ve carried has served its purpose and now we must burn our expectations to light our way. This is when we assume our full stature in order to see what’s... Read more

As we approach Inauguration day, I want to offer a deeper, broader context for the divisions we are facing as a nation.   The Two Tribes In the beginning, when the first humans came across each other, it went two ways. Upon seeing someone different, the more fearful one said, “You’re different. Go away.” The other, upon seeing someone not like him, said, “You’re different. Come, teach me what I don’t know.” While our reasoning has grown more complicated throughout... Read more