Dear Mark Driscoll Please Stay! Otherwise We Won’t Have a Way to Get People to Read Our Blogs!

Dear Mark Driscoll Please Stay! Otherwise We Won’t Have a Way to Get People to Read Our Blogs! August 23, 2014

Dear Mark Driscoll,

Please don’t go! Don’t you know that there is an entire blog-sphere out here that depends on you? Just like right wing evangelicals like you get off on denouncing gays to raise money and get readers us progressive Christians need you!

Hell, even MSNBC, Huff Post and the other secular liberal outlets need you. You have just been great! We loved it when you told everyone God hated them! If you weren’t real we would have had to invent you!

You have given us bloggers countless happy moments, not to mention made us all some money. With enemies like you we don’t  friends. So Please stay!

But now your empire is imploding. As noted by even the New York Times,

He has been accused of creating a culture of fear at the church, of plagiarizing, of inappropriately using church funds and of consolidating power to such a degree that it has become difficult for anyone to challenge or even question him. A flood of former Mars Hill staff members and congregants have come forward, primarily on the Internet but also at a protest in front of the church, to share stories of what they describe as bullying or “spiritual abuse,” and 21 former pastors have filed a formal complaint in which they call for Mr. Driscoll’s removal as the church’s leader.’

I mean that was so great! Now we can feel even better about ourselves. When we progressives grandstand, create our own followings, cheat and steal, we can still feel good because you are always worse!

Stay damn you!

Yours in Christ,

Frank

PS. If you are about to resign PLEASE attack my new book WHY I AM AN ATHEIST WHO BELIEVES IN GOD: How to give love, create beauty and find peace before you go! PLEAAAAAAAAAAASE!

Frank Schaeffer is a writer. His latest book —WHY I AM AN ATHEIST WHO BELIEVES IN GOD: How to give love, create beauty and find peace

Available now on Amazon

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