(John Hagee greets Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu)
With apologies to David Letterman, here’s my TOP TEN LIST of things Israel might do that would erode Evangelical American support for Israel’s war on the people of Gaza. (Hold the email, I believe in Israel’s right to exist as much as any Middle Eastern messed up country anyway, and so forth… but, that said… maybe existence at ANY moral cost isn’t what it’s cracked up to be… as any Native American could tell you…)
According to a new Pew Research Center poll the US Evangelical public’s support for Israel is at near-record levels. In fact, the more Palestinian children and women that are killed in Gaza the more American Evangelicals seem to back the State of Israel’s we-kill-100-Palestinian-civilians-for-every-Israeli-occupier-killed-200-eyes-for-an-eye, policy.
So would anything be “too much” for the Evangelicals to applaud when it comes to killing Palestinian civilians? I’m guessing not.
For most American Evangelicals the only good Palestinian or Arab – including Palestinian Christians! – is a dead Palestinian.
But just in case, here’s my…
TOP TEN LIST OF WHAT ISRAEL MIGHT DO TO LOSE AMERICAN “PRO- LIFE” EVANGELICAL’S SUPPORT FOR CONTINUING “MILITARY ACTION” AGAINST THE PEOPLE OF GAZA
# 10 Israel kills five hundred women and children a day instead of just a hundred or so to avenge rocket fire that almost never hits anyone
# 9 Israel targets maternity wards instead of just shelling hospitals to teach Hamas a lesson
# 8 Israel bombs ten schools a day instead of just two or three in “regrettable” incidents
# 7 Israel bombs fifty kindergartens a day instead of just randomly bombing kids playing on beaches
# 6 Israel buses West Bank settlers to the Gaza border and lets them shoot at any Palestinians they see still moving instead of just letting them cheer as Palistinian children burn to death in their beds
# 5 Israel rounds up a thousand Palestinian women and children and shoots them in a self-defense reprisal for each Israeli soldier killed as a new self-defense remedy
# 4 Israel fire bombs Gaza
# 3 Israel carpet bombs Gaza
# 2 Israel launches a chemical attack on Gaza to deal with the three remaining tunnlesAnd… The Number One way Israel just might lose American Evangelical support is…. (Drum roll…)
# 1 Israel nukes Gaza!
Oh, but wait a moment, that’s already the American Evangelicals’ Number One Apocalyptic wet dream!
Armageddon is what every Bible-believing blood-bought born-again pro-life Evangelical prays for so that Jesus will “come back” and take all the saved heterosexual white Christian fundamentalists home in the “rapture” and then liquidate and send to hell (and burn forever) all those unsaved Muslims and Jews– alike.
But the Prince of Peace will only do that after the Jews, including all those Democrat-voting-contraceptive-using-gay-coddling feminist Liberal American ACLU-type Jews, have served their apocalyptic foreordained biblical destiny by making the fulfillment of biblical prophecy as murderously entertaining as possible until the Middle East looks like a “Last Days” video game…
I mean it’s all in the Bible or at least in the “Left Behind” novels– right?
Now let’s go picket an abortion clinic because EVERY LIFE IS SACRED… unless they’re terminating Palestinian babies in the clinic, in which case Praise Jesus!
Frank Schaeffer is a writer. His latest book —WHY I AM AN ATHEIST WHO BELIEVES IN GOD: How to give love, create beauty and find peace
Available now on Amazon