This Thanksgiving I Give Thanks For Jessica Bennett’s Courage– She Survived Rape (and Awful “Purity” Theology) and Tells Her Story Here

Frank, You asked for our stories. I was raised in a pretty fundamentalist Baptist environment. My family, luckily for my younger siblings, have moved away from the strict conservatism that enveloped my upbringing as the oldest of five.

Mostly what I remember about the sermons I heard growing up was the constant harping on sexual purity. I’m not a very sexual person, even now so I couldn’t understand why every youth pastor I ever had seemed to preach every sermon on how I must, as a woman, never lead the guys astray.

I agreed then that sex before marriage was wrong but it never sat right with me that it always seemed to be the woman’s responsibility to keep the men pure. I wasn’t a rebellious teenager so when I was told such and such a shirt was too low or a skirt too short, I generally didn’t wear it to church again. But since I went to church three times a week, went to the church run school, then worked in the church run school, it started to get to me.

In high school I was raped, not by anyone associated with the church, but when I realized I now longer held what I believed was the woman’s holy grail of virginity, I felt awful. I felt judged by everyone who saw me even though no one knew for a while.

All those talks had led me to believe I was now a horrible person. We never had discussed rape, we never had even talked about the fact that boys [might] try to force women into anything sexual, we had only talked about women ensnaring men. So I drew the conclusion that I had somehow made this guy want to have sex with me.

I had sinned and now no one would love me. Even when I learned it was not my fault, I still had to deal with people who still held those beliefs and a church that had no capacity to approach the… PTSD I was — by that time — suffering with. It wasn’t any one person’s fault but the enviromental mindset that has become doctrine is faulty.

P.S. I saw you talk once at the Brattle Theater [Boston] and totally enjoyed it.

I still want to help girls/women that grew up like me, damaged by the purity myth. I just haven’t found the right venue yet. If there is anything I can do to help though just let me know. I am dying to be useful. 🙂

Jessica

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Frank Schaeffer is a writer. His latest book —WHY I AM AN ATHEIST WHO BELIEVES IN GOD: How to give love, create beauty and find peace

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