Does Jesus Ask You to Love LGBTQ?

Does Jesus Ask You to Love LGBTQ? August 8, 2013


I recently heard from yet another Christian mom whose daughter was rejected by their extended family. They had rallied around in love and sacrifice to accommodate the significant physical challenge she was born with, but when she revealed her same-sex attraction, their unconditional love became, well, conditional. We love you – but we cannot accept this about you. We love you – but you must change. All the sacrifice required to love her in her physical requirements vanished when it came to her orientation.

I wonder if the presence of so many LGBTQ in our Christian families is likewise an opportunity for us to learn to love well, the way Jesus told us, the way Jesus loved us. I’ve seen many parents do just that, loving so fully and richly, even as they had to reassess what they thought they knew. Parents of a gay child often have their views dismissed, being told: “You just approve of this because your child is gay.” Well, what better way for God to shift someone’s paradigm than to make it real to them, give them reason to question the assumptions they’d held? Most victim’s rights laws are championed most fervently by victim’s families. They see firsthand the change that needs to be made. Instead of dismissing them as biased, we can encourage them in their fierce defense of their loved ones.

The alternative is to be unteachable. When the human being in front of you conflicts with what you have already believed, even if you believed it all your life, maybe God is showing you something new. Not to see that requires intense lack of humility.

To lay out rules for others is easy – it requires no sacrifice on our part, no challenge to our point of view. It’s extremely human. To be surprised by a gay son or daughter and then to take it to Jesus and let him guide our actions requires so much more love from us than just trying to change them. It requires us to live in the unknown even if it’s uncomfortable instead of the usual black and white that feels secure. It requires trust.

Jesus is about people and the heart, not rules. Considering how radically Jesus’ words shook the paradigms of everyone who heard Him (take a look herehere, and here), I’m going to guess He’s more interested in our relationship with Him and others than He is in the rules.

If you’ve had a paradigm-shifting experience in accepting the LGBTQ, I’d love to hear about it.

CLICK HERE TO READ “How Do You Love the LGBTQ In Your Life”

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  • Rhonda

    Homosexuality seems to be the current issue that God is using to reveal our (Christians) characters. Will we continue to walk in love? Will we trust the Holy Spirit to guide us in ALL things? To teach us ALL things? Will we love as Jesus loved? Or is this the issue that will break us? that will cause us to stumble when it comes to love?

    I appreciate the risk that you are taking Susan and I understand both the loss of friendship you have experienced for taking this stand as well as the fact the you “have to” take it. When we feel that calling from the Spirit of God, we must respond, no matter the cost. Thank you for responding!

    You are encouraging hearts and changing lives! Keep following hard after Christ!

  • T.C.

    God has shifted my thinking towards the LGBTQ community!

    Two years ago, I met two people – one is transgender and one is gay. God helped mold my mind to be loving and accepting and now those two people are my closest friends!

    Then recently, one of my family members came out as a part of the LGBTQ community. Luckily, God had already molded my mindset and I was able to respond with love and encouragement! Now I live my life just trying to love everyone I meet. Praise God!

  • You’re welcome, my friend. I hope so too!

  • Oh, good for you! You’re doing exactly what Jesus asked you to do – love God, love others! Those friends and family are fortunate to have you. Thank you so much for sharing.

  • How sweet that is. I love that He speaks through all the chaos and reveals His very heart. Thank you so much for sharing your experience — it’s incredibly encouraging. Bless your journey!

  • Rachel, I’m so glad you shared this. I’d love to give you something to think about here. I encourage you to read the gospels. Just read Jesus. You’ll see that His interactions with people are full of love and authenticity. Then read how He talks to the Pharisees in Matthew 23. He blasts them for putting impossible standards on people that they themselves don’t keep. (They’re the only people Jesus ever blasts!) My advice if you are thinking about a church or group of Christian friends is to see whether they look more like Jesus or more like the Pharisees He blasts. If they look like the Pharisees, run, don’t walk! You don’t want any part of it. If they look more like Jesus, then you may have yourself a good group there. Remember that Jesus said people would know we are His followers because of our love for one another. (John 13:35) Love is Jesus’ branding of Christianity, and the church has really lost its direction in that. If you aren’t seeing Jesus’ hallmark love, then move on. But stick with Jesus who loves you without condition, without condemnation. God bless you on this journey, Rachel, and thanks again for sharing your heart.

  • It certainly is! God is so capable and you’re doing just what he asks by resting in Him. Good for you for finding that truth – and God bless you for loving Him so beautifully! Love to you, and thanks for writing.

  • Love love love your comment. Such a beautiful proof of God’s personal and precious leading. Thank you for sharing. So glad you’re loving your son. I so agree about the love – it’s what Jesus gave is to do! Bless you for listening to His voice and following. Your son is blessed. Thank you for sharing and God bless your journey.

  • You make a great point. When we are judgmental of ourselves, we can’t help judging other people. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hii, Im a gay teenager and i would like to know how would i counter the argument of if gay marriage is legalised then how can they not legalise incest marriages?

  • Hey, thanks so much for writing. It’s interesting because that argument seems to come up all the time. But it’s not the same at all, of course. A new addition to my resource page: What the Bible Say and Doesn’t Say about Homosexuality, is very helpful on the arguments. You can recommend it to those who really want to know and would be willing to read, or you can read it to understand the arguments yourself. It really shows that our interpretation of those few passages has a lot of history around it, that doesn’t have anything to do with their meaning in the bible. Basically, the homosexual passage in Leviticus 18:22 and 20:14 (listed along with many other restrictions like shellfish, pork, mixed fabrics, sex during menstruation) are not mentioned again throughout the law. It was part of restrictions for these people set apart. But adultery, incest and bestiality, also restricted, are repeated in Exodus, Numbers, Deuteronomy. So restricting men from “having sex as they would with a woman” belongs with not eating shellfish, wearing mixed fabrics, and sex during menstruation; not with adultery, incest and bestiality. All of this is in the Matthew Vines video on my resources page. I hope they will listen to you. If not, you have to remember you can only speak, you can’t make them hear. I wish you the very best, and I hope it goes well for you.

  • Thank you so much for your beautiful words and analysis of the situation. I completely agree with you. I am greatly encouraged, however, by the many, many blogs and books and other work coming out around this topic, largely by younger men and women, through whom God is reaching many people. I figure my energies are best used in reaching those who have an ear to hear, and smiling and nodding at those who don’t. I too have been so afraid of people leaving the church and leaving Jesus as well. But I’m convinced that God is doing a new thing in His church body, and we can be onboard or we can scratch our heads and wonder where everybody went! Thanks so much for your heartfelt truth. Your sons are so blessed to have you. The more parents are onboard, the more we can love them as Jesus told us to. Bless you!