March 31 was Transgender Day of Visibility. With all the conversation about who we pee next to, I wondered if you could tell who was actually a transgender woman. Can you spot her? Can you tell? Do you care?
Unfortunately, many seem to care – especially those in the nonaffirming church – and they have responded with fear-mongering and vicious lies, trying to make this about the safety of our children.
Honestly, they should be ashamed of themselves.
Anyone who takes an authentic look at this knows there is no connection whatever between transgender people and pedophilia. Most predators are straight men who already have arranged their lives for easy access to children.
This is nothing new. We have been going to bathrooms with transgender people for as long as we have been alive.
Those who stir up fear pretend it’s about the children when it’s really about fear, and power, and personal dislike of trans people. In the church, we have been through this before with left-handed people, women, blacks, interracial marriage. You would think we would have learned.
So an entire group of people is being marginalized and oppressed and discriminated against, simply because we disagree with them, or just plain do not like them. Its called the “ick” factor.
Who really needs protecting? The one who says “ick”??
The truth is that when a transgender person goes into a public restroom, THEY are the most vulnerable person in the room, subject to harassment and attack—the stats bear that out.And the ones who may not be able to pass as easily as the women in the photos are in increased danger and in even more need of protection.
So, take a look again at those photos and tell me… When your son uses the restroom, would he be traumatized, upset, uncomfortable seeing any of these woman in the same restroom? Yeah, I think so.
What is really the most disruptive? Letting them use the restroom that fits their lived identity or the one on their birth certificate? Because that’s the seedy underside of this debacle: to require the latter will bring more upheaval than we now imagine.
I asked at the beginning if you could spot the transgender woman. Well, it’s not just one of these women who is transgender—it’s eight. All BUT one.
Who is the cisgender woman? (The one who is NOT transgender?)
I’m not going to tell you. 🙂
Because when you use a public restroom and see someone who reminds you of one of these lovely women, you won’t really know, will you?
Instead, let me leave you with this advice…
Go to the bathroom, wash your hands, and get on with your day. There is much life to live, much love to give. Focus your heart there. <3
We have resources, support groups, and comprehensive video courses helping parents accept & affirm their LGBTQI children; helping LGBTQI heal shame from family, church and community; and helping those in the faith community be fully inclusive. Please just click here. 🙂