If you’ve been around evangelical spaces for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the phrase: “The Bible defines marriage as one man and one woman.”
It’s repeated like it came straight from the mouth of God, carved in stone. But here’s the thing—it’s simply not true.
The Bible contains many examples of marriage, and very few look like the “traditional” picture we’re told is God’s design. Abraham had Sarah… and Hagar. Jacob had Leah and Rachel—and both of their servants. King David had at least eight wives. Solomon? Hundreds of wives and concubines. The Old Testament law even includes provisions for marrying a captive of war.
If we’re going to be honest about what’s “biblical,” we have to admit: the neat, sanitized “one man, one woman” ideal isn’t a biblical constant. It’s a modern construct—a cultural choice being dressed up as divine command.
What the Bible Actually Shows Us About Marriage
The Bible doesn’t present one model of marriage as the gold standard. Instead, it tells the stories of relationships—messy, complicated, imperfect relationships—between people in vastly different cultures and contexts.
What is consistent, however, is not the gender combination, but the call to love with faithfulness, care, and commitment.
When Jesus spoke about marriage, He didn’t launch into a lecture about chromosomes or gender roles. He spoke about love, fidelity, and mutual respect—values that can exist in any marriage, regardless of gender.
Why Opposing Same-Sex Marriage Harms the Idea of Marriage Itself
When evangelicals fight against marriage equality in the name of “protecting marriage,” they’re actually damaging the very heart of what marriage is supposed to be.
Marriage is about two people committing to love each other, to care for each other in sickness and in health, to build a life together. Denying same-sex couples the right to marry says that their love, their commitment, their family doesn’t count—and that only one kind of love is worthy of recognition.
That doesn’t strengthen marriage. That cheapens it. It turns marriage from a covenant of love into an exclusive club—one that rewards conformity instead of honoring faithfulness.
The Real Tradition Worth Protecting
The real “biblical” tradition worth protecting is not a gender formula—it’s the idea that love matters. That commitment matters. That covenant matters.
When we celebrate marriage equality, we’re not tearing down the institution of marriage—we’re reinforcing its most beautiful truths:
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Love is worth making promises for.
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Commitment is worth celebrating.
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Every couple who chooses to love each other for life is a gift to their community.
Let’s Tell the Truth
The so-called “biblical” view of marriage is not traditional at all—it’s selective. And when that selective reading is used to exclude LGBTQ people, it doesn’t protect marriage; it distorts it.
Love between two consenting adults—whether they are straight or gay—reflects the heart of God far more than any ancient cultural practice of polygamy, property exchange, or forced marriage.
If the church truly cared about marriage, it would fight for every couple who wants to live in faithful, life-giving love. Because in the end, it’s not the gender of the couple that makes a marriage holy—it’s the love they share.
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