“Mom, I’m Gay!” You want to shove those words back in and put the lid on. But you can’t. Having a gay or trans child may may go against everything you’ve been taught. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong. When you become a parent, you know to expect the unexpected. But for many Christian parents, nothing can prepare them to hear that their beloved child is gay. How could this... Read more
If you are LGBTQI, coming out to your Christian parents and family can be overwhelming. You don’t know their response until you tell them… and then it’s too late. I hope this article, written with a gay friend, will help. Be honest This is the most fundamental piece of advice, and also the most important. It is so easy to water down the truth of what you are saying out of fear, but this will never work out well in the... Read more
“If the you of five years ago doesn’t consider the you of today a heretic, you are not growing spiritually.” — Thomas Merton My delightful daughter Hannah, whose AMAZING coming out post we ran last year, has written another great post on her Facebook page. She is always thought-provoking and I just had to share this with you (with permission). I hope you enjoy it too. Story time! A while back, I received a note from someone I’ve known for... Read more
I love how Elizabeth Gilbert – the bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love – came out today about her relationship with Rayya: she just came out. Not gigantic fanfare, just a Facebook post saying, this is our relationship. She came out now because Rayya has cancer, and they want to be able to walk in a room arm in arm and, as Liz says, “feel relaxed enough to stand comfortably in simple openness about who we actually are to each... Read more
Rejection, shunning, condemnation, ridicule, bullying, all in the name of God. If you are LGBTQ, or the parent of an LGBTQ child, or anyone who is affirming and including, you have likely been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment. And worse. Does such treatment have anything to do with God? No, not really. It is about fear. Does it have to do with the Bible? Not at all. Those who use Christian Scripture to stand against same-sex... Read more
“My son wears tutus. It was fine… until yesterday!” This is the story of the innocence of a child, the love of a Mom, and the scary, hurtful words of a stranger. Unfortunately, it is a situation repeated on a tragically frequent basis. Is it hate? Ignorance? Misguided interference? You decide. I will let Jen, the Mom, tell you what happened… My three-and-a-half-year-old son likes to play trucks. He likes to do jigsaw puzzles. He likes to eat plums. And... Read more
“You’re a Christian! How can you support LGBTQ people and gay marriage? Don’t you realize you are condoning sin? You are leading people into hell!” This is Rob, Susan’s husband, and I have heard it all! Multiple times a day from strangers. Frequently from people who claim to be friends. And more than I ever thought possible from close family members. When we came out as parents of an LGBTQ child, and then as fierce allies and advocates, I was... Read more
How Arrogant Must You Be to Reject Your LGBTQ Child? EXTREMELY. To stand at the door of your home, or of your church, and tell someone that they are not welcome is indefensible. But it happens every day to people who just happen to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning. And nothing hurts a heart more than when that rejection comes from a Mom or a Dad. The driving force behind people who reject their children for whatever... Read more
It’s women’s gymnastics time again! It is my favorite Olympic event, of all time, period. I feel the adrenaline as I watch them. Those young women perform skills so hard they shouldn’t be possible! They work years to develop their ability–and they make it look easy! Consider the balance beam: the commentator says the gymnast’s boldness is the difference between winning and losing. The more she attacks and goes for each skill, the less likely she is to fall off the beam.... Read more
So-called “reparative therapy” is in the news again! Yippee! Nevermind that those who have been through it report the horrific abuse involved, the lifelong scars sustained, the devastating self-loathing that results. Don’t worry that the medical and psychiatric community has decried it as not only failed as a practice that doesn’t deliver the hope-for result of a changed orientation–that should be reason enough to put it to rest–but it’s also loaded with deadly side effects. Depression, self-loathing, suicide. How out-to-lunch, out of touch,... Read more
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