When I learned that Alex’s mother threw dishes at her and threw her down the stairs because she’s gay—that’s the day I knew I had to advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. I’d been educating myself since my two daughters came out—nearly a decade ago now—and I was shocked by what I learned: A scant 6 verses have been misinterpreted and abused to marginalize and oppress our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters. Duplicitous Christians stand firmly against “gays” while abuses of power... Read more
Every time I tell our story, and I say that I have two queer daughters, I have to add a disclaimer. Usually something like, “that’s the phrase they chose.” If I don’t, it is inevitable that I will get confronted on my use of the word queer. It is an immediate reminder that while we may have come so far, we have so far to go. Why should a label matter so much? If you knew my two daughters, it... Read more
Alarming numbers of young people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer are becoming homeless, kicked out of families and churches, choosing substance abuse, and even making the tragic decision to end their own lives. What are we called to do? When certain Pharisees — the ones who were focused on behaving the “right” way instead of loving — were nose-to-nose with Jesus, they missed him! They didn’t understand at all. You may be doing the same thing. This... Read more
We have been betrayed by those closest to us. We have written about being shamed, shunned and judged, and how our faith has been questioned. We have talked about people who tell us we are leading people into hell. All “in God’s name.” Usually from those in the nonaffirming, conservative church. Why? Because of our love, support and advocacy for our daughters and other LGBTQI people. Of course, they don’t see it that way. There are people in this group... Read more
When Amber Cantorna came out, her father-- an executive at Focus on the Family-- completely rejected her. She now tells her story. Read more
Cutting, drug-abuse, suicide. Way too often we hear the tragic story of another LGBTQI person struggling. Is there a core issue, a common reason? I believe there is. We cannot underestimate the impact of family and faith-based rejection. Of being told that you are an abomination to God, of being kicked out of homes and rejected by the very people who were supposed to love you no matter what. Recently, a Mom contacted me about her gay son. I wanted... Read more
The Nashville Statement is not new. These same evangelical people have been conveying this message for decades. The results have been absolutely tragic in individuals, in families, and in our churches. Instead of making an honest evaluation—as so many Christians have done and then became fully affirming—this group decided to double down. This does not reflect the heart of God. Jesus said people will know we are Christians by our love. Does the Nashville Statement reflect love? The radical, unconditional... Read more
I am fully affirming of LGBTQI people BECAUSE of my faith, not in spite of it. I came to believe what I believe after extensive theological study, my own life experience, examining the lived experience of others, research, prayer, and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. It was a journey. All I did was stay on it, take the next step, and love – while God brought answers. I am now more in love with God, with Jesus, with... Read more
“Stop letting awful parents put these labels on young children! It is going to destroy their lives!” We hear some version of this every day. What these people don’t realize is that it is not the parent who is doing anything, it is the child driving the vast majority of these conversations. Gender identity and orientation are complex issues and it can be especially difficult and confusing when your child is young. But the best response can be surprisingly simple.... Read more
It was a big day nonetheless. Graduating from seminary, I enjoyed family and friends here to celebrate, and so many more cheering me on from afar. I felt loved, valued, appreciated, seen, and heard! Gifts and well wishes rained down from Mamas in FreedHearts Moms, my secret online support group. I received many more wishes from so many friends online—even the many I haven’t met in person but who have expressed their love and appreciation. I felt that my life... Read more
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