“Stop letting awful parents put these labels on young children! It is going to destroy their lives!” We hear some version of this every day. What these people don’t realize is that it is not the parent who is doing anything, it is the child driving the vast majority of these conversations. Gender identity and orientation are complex issues and it can be especially difficult and confusing when your child is young. But the best response can be surprisingly simple.... Read more
It was a big day nonetheless. Graduating from seminary, I enjoyed family and friends here to celebrate, and so many more cheering me on from afar. I felt loved, valued, appreciated, seen, and heard! Gifts and well wishes rained down from Mamas in FreedHearts Moms, my secret online support group. I received many more wishes from so many friends online—even the many I haven’t met in person but who have expressed their love and appreciation. I felt that my life... Read more
Margaret Court was the name in Women’s Tennis. She was the best in the world. She set records. The Australian Open’s Court Arena bears her name. But her game is sadly out of date. She would not have even a teensy-weensy chance against the 100th ranked player today, let alone Serena. Not. A. Chance. Bless her heart. I admire her tennis—for the day she played it. Today it’s anachronistic; that is, it’s out of the sequence of time. It’s old,... Read more
In 2010, my daughter came out. I love her. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. I stand with her. I defend her. I believe in her. I protect her. And my life’s work is now to advocate for her and for all those in the LGBTQ+ community. Maybe you have a gay son, or a lesbian daughter, or a bisexual, transgender or queer child. And maybe this is not what you hoped for—what you dreamed of. But regardless of the... Read more
Diana. Wonder Woman! Just saw the movie, and I kept thinking about you. I will share a few pieces here—no spoilers—to convey how I feel about you and the defense we’re engaged in for the lives of the defenseless, for the lives of our children. It doesn’t stop until all of us are free. “It’s our sacred duty to defend the world. And it is what I’m going to do.” – Wonder Woman. When I started FreedHearts four years ago,... Read more
At a time when a parent weeps uncontrollably, mourning the death of their precious child, what would possibly drive a father to refuse to claim the dead body of his son? Oh wait, he told us: the son was gay. Where is the love? Is the middle of the unspeakable pain of losing your child to a senseless act of hate and violence, you have to plan a funeral. What would possibly cause a church to refuse to allow you... Read more
Today’s my girls’ birthday, my lovely youngest daughter. She moves to LA tomorrow. Onward toward her music career. How the years fly and in the end, and when those kids soar off to their own adventures, we are left to wave and wish them joy and peace and life. What do you wish you had done differently as a parent? What do you wish your parents had done differently? Love. That is what a wise older woman told me she... Read more
Are we so terrified of an angry God that we choose to err of the side of judging a person instead of loving them? Unfortunately, the answer is “yes” for much of the church. And it is destroying the lives of people and entire families – many of whom we call brothers and sisters in Christ. What if it is wrong to condemn same-sex relationships? What if it is wrong to affirm same-sex relationships? “What if you’re wrong?” It is... Read more
What would Jesus do on Easter Sunday? As I stood under the bridge in downtown Austin, a man balancing his hamburger, chips, and a drink walked straight to me. “Will you hold my cigarette?” For a nanosecond I processed the request, then I carefully took his lighted cigarette which freed him to reshuffle his food and drink. Jen Hatmaker, next to me, kindly guided him to a place at the table where others were eating. I followed. After a little... Read more
I am sorry if the title of this post shocks you, or strikes you as harsh or over-dramatic. But honestly, parents don’t realize what they’re asking of their LGBTQ+ kids. And they don’t realize what their rejection is doing to them. This is not some debate about inclusion. This is a matter of life and death. By making children stick to their own expectations and standards for them — whether they really think the lie that their gay child is... Read more
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