The next time someone says something like “These are $130 headphones that I bought for $30,” I’ll respond “I guess that makes them $30 headphones.”
Phrases and words that should never again be used in movie or book reviews: “Tour de force.” “Electrifying.” “Astounding.” “Spectacular.” “Jaw-dropping.”
Another word that is vastly overused: “Outraged.” It is okay to be outraged by the abuse of children, the fact that people go to sleep hungry every night in this country, or anything Donald Trump or Tucker Carlson says. It is not okay to be outraged by a longer line than usual at the grocery store, two people of the same sex holding hands, or having to push an extra button on the ATM to indicate which language you would prefer the machine to use when communicating with you.
Taking one point off a student’s final course grade every time he or she asks a question that is answered in the syllabus might cause a few more students to read the syllabus. Maybe.
The next person who posts a picture of food on Facebook should be required to buy dinner for all of his or her Facebook acquaintances.
Seventy is the new fifty. Or at least I hope it is—I’m getting perilously close.
Jeanne’s and my latest television-watching obsession is rewatching the entire seven seasons of The West Wing from beginning to end. During the W years our car sported a bumper sticker that said “Don’t blame me–I voted for Bartlet.” And I would do it again, even though Martin Sheen is two years older than Joe Biden and six years older than his Orangeness. If we have to vote for an old white guy, let’s make it the right one.
From The Onion: Sonny Corleone would still be alive today if he had EZ Pass.
This will be helpful for creationists:
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