Playing The Smoke-Filled Room: Democrat Edition

[For rules and set-up instructions, see yesterday’s post.]

We’re the big Democratic honchos meeting in a Denver hotel room, designing a winning ticket for a deadlocked convention. . .

OK, Carville, Begala, settle down. Let’s get started. Wait! I’m personally offended. We don’t have enough women or minorities. Donna, pull in that cleaning lady from the hall. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t speak English, since her kind is anti-abortion anyway, but we have to stand on principle. Wait! I’m personally offended again. You union bosses, put out those cigars! The Democratic caucus does not allow tobacco. Sean, give me a hit from that joint that is passing around. Anyone else personally offended about anything? Good. Let’s get started.

We have two really good candidates, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. But which one would be stronger at the top of the ticket? Or would the two together be weaker than either one of them separately. Might having the first woman AND the first African-American be derided as the politically-correct ticket that would put off the general public?

No, Donna, we cannot have two vice presidents. I know, a Clinton, Obama, and Richardson ticket would also let us add the first Hispanic. The constitutions doesn’t allow for that. I know, it’s an evolving document suited to the needs of the time, but I don’t think we could this through the courts in time. Maybe for our second term.

I’ve got it! A slate consisting of Clinton and Clinton! That would be perfect. The 22nd Amendment keeps anyone from being ELECTED to the office more than twice. If the vice-president had to take-over because the president died, that would be OK, wouldn’t it? And if the Supreme Court doesn’t go our way, even after we will have packed it, if Hillary dies, Bill could resign, and NANCY PELOSI would be our new president! How perfect is that?

[Your move. . . .You can be serious if you want to.]