Republican score card

Last updated on: October 12, 2011 at 5:50 am by Gene Veith

I didn’t watch the debate last night between the Republican presidential candidates. I hear they all ganged up on Herman Cain, who really has become the putative front runner as the alternative to Mitt Romney. I heard that Michele Bachmann cast aspersions on Cain’s 9-9-9 tax reform plan by telling voters to turn the numbers upside down (6-6-6–get it?). You know, that might be enough to sink Cain with many Christian voters. Again, I didn’t watch it. Maybe some of you can report how it went and what light it shone on the campaign, if any.

At any rate, here is where I think the candidates stand right now with the general public (not me, necessarily, the general public):

1. Mitt Romney. The Mormon who laid you off.

2. Herman Cain. Not even in the pizza industry is the top boss an entry level position.

3. Rick Perry. Too Texan.

4. Ron Paul. Too Libertarian.

5. Newt Gingrich. Too mean.

6. Michele Bachmann. Violated her confirmation vows in leaving Lutheranism over the antichrist flap. No one can win without the hotly contested Lutheran vote. (OK, that is more me than the general public.)

7. Jon Huntsman. We already have Mitt Romney.

8. Paul Johnson. We already have Ron Paul.

9. Rick Santorum. He’s smart. He’s principled. He hasn’t got a chance.

How would you characterize the candidates so far?