I am so over it. My tolerance has hit a big, ugly wall longer than the Southern border
I understand the concept of demonic possession in ways I never have before now. The tragedy of 2016 is involved. But truth be told I was rapidly approaching my limit before then.
Here is something I realized only recently. I no longer argue with people about the issue of homosexuality. It was not a conscious decision. I must have experienced a spiritual change without realizing it. Someone asked me recently about my position on ordaining gay people. I explained my position. The other person said he believed homosexuality was an abomination before God. And I did something I do not usually do. I did not argue the point.
I was oddly at peace with this. There was no feeling of guilt for not arguing or “defending” my position. I let it go. No, I did not “turn it over to God.” I simply don’t care if God takes up my cause. It is no longer mine. So why bother?
Spiritual fatigue originates in doing something for too long. Tolerance and compassion have their limits for human beings. I have reached mine. It is a dangerous position to be in. If the condition is not recognized for what it is, it will lead to callousness.
A paradox most liberationists find ourselves in is the very people one would stand up for fight tooth and nail against you. It is my new understanding of demonic possession. Poor people know they are exploited. Many poor people identify with the people who exploit them. Therefore, they believe their exploitation is being done by other people. The Satanic joke is they believe other people who are exploited are in fact exploiting them.
Poor white folks will indulge themselves in racism, sexism, and defend the rights of exploiters while believing they are righteous for doing so. This is a bizarre position. There are two golden calves erected here. One is abortion. The other is homosexuality. But the true sin of Jeroboam Son of Nebat (who caused Israel to sin) was fear of losing his power.
People often ask me who do I believe “the AntiChrist” to be? I ask who their candidates are. It is important to know which propaganda they are hearing now. But something new has happened. No one asks me anymore. They do not know who the enemy is. Rather, the enemy is a Leviathan that seeks to destroy them. The monster is a hydra. The many heads rear up where the old ones were. And this time, the new heads contradict the old ones.
I am tired of watching the people I grew up with fall into bitterness because of this monster. The people who once claimed they only ate “freedom fries” now oppose any move by the national government of the United States. Their heroes are anonymous and fictional characters who fail to keep their promises. The Deep State beast they fear leads them to hate anyone other than their fictional heroes who they believe to be more real.
Evangelicals are arguing that compassion is a sin. The fear of Leviathan makes upends morality and has developed a religious New Speak. Compassion is sin. Caring for Creation is bad. Wanting people to be fed or receive adequate medical care is viewed as evil. The spirit of grace is blasphemed by calling it evil.
It is hard to be compassionate toward such people. The wall is high and menacing.
Bitterness and Tolerance
Watching other people give in to bitterness is hard. It is far easier to understand the lashing out of a terminal cancer patient as a mixture of pain and medication. Bitterness of the heart and soul are difficult when you know how easy it should be to overcome it.
Being a wounded healer is not enough to be compassionate for bitter people. The long Biblical poem of Lamentations makes more sense. The bitter people are more than willing to see your destruction. When you suffer with them, they blame you for it.
The Vigilant Healer
The big ugly wall I describe above is the back side of the Leviathan my neighbors see. It is my compassion and tolerance fatigue. The keyhole to the gate within this wall is shown in an amazing way. It requires a vigilant healer to see it.
I did not argue with the other person. Someone who is willing to learn can be taught. Persuading that person is worth my effort. This is the key to the gate.
The keyhole in the gate is shown when the light falls on it (yes I am borrowing from The Hobbit). The keyhole is the fatigue of the bitter person. The first church I ever served full time had a history of fights. But it stopped. A new member observed, “this church does not fight.” The senior minister replied, “because they are sick of it.”
Liberationist leaders can neither persuade people nor convince them. For true liberation to happen people must be sick of what they are doing. This is the light of the waning moon on Durin’s day. When will that Leviathan in their minds disappear? I can’t say. Yet, we are required to be ready when bitterness gives way to acknowledging brokenness. Then healing will begin.