Flawless Imperfection

It was a dark night, with the moon nowhere to be seen. We were driving home after having a great time at a family gathering. The best part was witnessing my three-year-old, Maryam, genuinely enjoy herself. My heart would just burst with joy every time she lit up, getting a thrill from seeing the pizza, the princess cake, the bounce house, and of course, all her friends and family. This invariably led to her falling asleep in the car on the way. So let me rephrase: it was a dark and peaceful night.

Despite all that went right today, I thought to myself how it would have been so much better if the party was earlier, if it was closer to home, if dinner was sooner, if the juice had been all natural, etc. etc. In my head I was getting engrossed in thinking about ways this night could have been better.

I turned to my husband and some of those thoughts spilled out into our conversation. He looked at me and said, “Really? I thought it was perfect.”

His words stopped me cold in my tracks. I know he didn’t really think so. We are both pretty much on the same page when it comes to Maryam’s schedule, bedtime, and nutritious food.

But, whereas I get lost in the details, he always manages to see the bigger picture. The whole can be more than the sum of its parts. Especially when you’re doing something for the sake of Allah, His boundless blessings can play a large role.

I’ve come to realize that it is in my nature to be a bit high strung, especially as a mom. I instinctively try to optimize our lives in a way that is most efficient, productive, fruitful, etc., etc. Maybe it’s due to years of following class schedules, bus schedules, exam schedules, and just about every other schedule under the sun. It has its benefits, like when you plan family outings or need to get your baby on a feeding and sleeping schedule. But, I will need to remember this lesson down the road especially when Maryam starts taking charge of her own decisions. It just takes a bit of perspective to see what I had viewed as imperfection was flawless all along.

Dalal Kanan

Dalal is a newly minted mother of two. She is a chemistry graduate student who enjoys her passions for healthy cooking, connecting with like-minded moms, bargain-shopping, and obsessively keeping up with current events.