Every parent has their own techniques for discipline, but here is a humorous tale about the “magic” of counting to three that you may find useful. Black, black and more black! Black seemed to be the only colour choice for Fatima’s three and a half year old daughter, Jameela. Day after day, the little girl vigorously scribbled until her colouring book was covered with a thick, waxy build up of black crayon. Fatima sat with her little girl, and offered... Read more
My daughter often reminds me that sometimes adults think too much for their own good. “Prove that God exists.” This challenge is laid before those who believe in Allah. Many have, but no hard and fast proof exists. If it did exist, belief in, and acceptance of, Allah (swt) would not be rewarded and considered morally good. This is why belief is no longer accepted once the major signs of the Day of Judgment begin – when physical proof of... Read more
We were a single child family for five plus years before the birth of our daughter, alhamdulillah. Therefore the constant advice given to us was to ensure that we made time for our son after the baby arrived, after all, he had been the center of our attention for so long and he would be the one with more understanding. Prior to her birth, we began this process, by explaining to him that not only was there going to be... Read more
A few days ago the temperature was spring-like, so the girls and I decided to go biking. Well, that is not totally truthful. They rode their bikes while I hiked behind them. We chose a challenging route that required lots of energy and a positive attitude. Along the way, as our smiles began to turn into tears, a red minivan gave us a friendly honk, and the driver waved at us and kept on going. I waved back, wondering who... Read more
I always thought I had to find my one thing, the pursuit or career through which I would make my contribution to Islam, society, or humanity. Taught by motivational lecturers and life-planning books that a jack-of-all-trades would never make a difference, I thought that to give my life meaning I had to excel phenomenally at one thing. I panicked in college as I looked for the perfect formula—the field that I liked, full of potential, filled with passion, that I... Read more
This was the title of an email I received few days ago. Basically, it mentioned that kids learn more from what they see you do than from what you instruct them to do. When I read this email, I remembered my 12 year old son’s words, “Mama, when you grow old I’ll take good care of you like you do with Geddo (grandfather)”. My eyes filled with tears and I was thankful to Allah. SubhanAllah!!!! I have the honor to... Read more
I give up. I’m surrendering. I won’t do it any more—it’s an impossible mission. It is no longer my responsibility if kids get hurt, property is damaged, our image gets tarnished, food gets wasted, or it’s noisy during Taraweeh prayer. Are you listening? I am officially resigning from my twenty-five year stint as a self-appointed member of the Etiquette Police…. I’m worn out. Exasperated. Defeated. I have only myself to blame. I took on the job thirty years ago when... Read more
It’s rather bizarre how most of the thoughts that run through my head these days are like a rant. A long-winded rant. A rant that ranges from my latest obsession with schooling options, to philosophical thoughts about motherhood and sacrifice, to aging parents, and finally around to getting some brown colored shoes. What’s wrong with me? Why have I become so incoherent – in my own thoughts?! I feel the onset of dementia sometimes. It’s no doubt, motherhood has made... Read more
The responsibility of teaching young children the Quran is a heavy weight on my shoulders. I imagine most Muslim parents feel this way. Part of my discomfort is that we are a non-Arabic speaking family. For years both my husband and I have struggled to memorize the Quran. I remind my self daily, despite the circumstances, that every Muslim is obliged to make attempts to learn and understand the book of Allah (swt) in the best way possible. I tell... Read more
Stay at home moms. Hmm, I wonder where this term came from. I think it’s supposed to refer to moms who are out of the work force, who are the main caregivers of their children, and whose primary job it is to manage their homes. I’ve been a “stay at home” mom since I jumped off the career track when my first child was born about 8 years ago. For a brief time, I tried to be a “work at... Read more
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