A Turn For The Ugly

Ezra received Ian’s birthday party invitation today and read each word carefully.  Ezra loves Ian, and even though he doesn’t see him often anymore, he sometimes calls Ian his best friend.

Handwritten at the bottom of the invitation was, “Zach is welcome!”

This news was not.

Ezra turned to me and said, “It says that Zach can come,” as though he were reading bad news from an oncology report.

“I know, but he’s going to stay home with us.”

“YES! YES! That’s just what I was hoping.”

One of the big reasons we wanted to homeschool was because all of the homeschooled siblings we saw were such good friends.  They were kind to each other and seemed to genuinely enjoy each other’s company.  We wanted that for our children as well.

Now I’m wondering if the causal relationship is actually the other way around.  Maybe kind, joyful siblings are more likely to get homeschooled because, well, their parents like being around them more.

Of course, I can’t prove the theory that loving siblings are more likely to be homeschooled any more than I can my theory that weird kids are more likely to be homeschooled. But I can say for certain that the unkind brothers who attend our homeschool are making it less and less likely that the lead teacher will renew her contract.

There is fighting, and name calling, and scratching, and teasing.  There is competition and comparison and delight at the other boy’s failure, and it makes me so sad.  Just four months ago, I would have said that the boys loved being together more than they loved anything else.  And I would have said that homeschooling was fostering that love.  There was always some rivalry and squabbling, of course.  But for the most part, they were great buds.

Recently, though, things have taken a turn for the ugly.  I’m worried that homeschooling them, having them together all day every day, is actually making things worse.  Is that possible?  Was I wrong before?  Am I misunderstanding what is going on now?  I need advice here, people.  Weigh in.