Men I Would Marry

I’ve been married twice, to two very wonderful, very different men. (I was married for five years to Scott, who died in 1997.)  Other than adoring me, it’s hard to find things they have in common.

But if I think really hard, I can come up with two activities that fit the bill.  Both Jeff and Scott make or made great coffee.  And they both pee or peed sitting down.

There you have it.  My advice on picking great husbands can be summed up in those two criteria.  Does he make the coffee and make it strong?  Does he pee sitting down?  If the answer to both is yes, I’d say you’ve got a winner.

Not convinced?

Give it a minute to sink in.  To me, both indicate a kind of consideration that is all too often lacking.  When I hear other women complain about a man constantly leaving the seat up or leaving a mess for her to clean up, I think, “Not my guy.”  When I see a woman who just spent all afternoon cooking get up to make coffee for everyone, I think, “Not in my house.”  I picked guys who get up early to make everyone coffee and spend an extra minute in the bathroom to make sure no one has to wipe up their urine.  Doesn’t sound like much, but it warms my heart just to write it.

So far I have failed to instill in the boys a love for seated peeing.  Instead, they are fonder of what they call the pee-pee X.  It involves two boys, two streams, and, well, you get the idea.

I think we might have better luck with the coffee.  Jeff got a new French press for Father’s Day and the boys are learning how to use it.  Jeff is teaching them how to grind the beans just so, pour in the water at just the right temperature, mix it until there is just the right amount of foam, and let it steep the exact right length of time.  He reminded them tonight that, “If you learn how to do this well, you can impress any woman you want.”

Zach wasn’t too impressed by that incentive.  His reply? “Stop saying that. You’re grossing me out.”

They may not yet be interested in Jeff’s advice on how to pick up babes, but I can’t help but think that growing up with Jeff as their Daddy, and spending so much time with him homeschooling, is bound to shape the boys’ characters for good.

I want to raise men I would want to marry (you know what I mean), and I see homeschooling as part of that project.  Do you think I should add seated peeing to the list of objectives?  Should we all?