Moving Out of the Cave

Moving Out of the Cave July 1, 2023

We eventually leave grief and fear.
We eventually leave grief and fear.


Grief. The mourning and emptiness following a loss. Sometimes it is a questioning or regret that burns inside us. Merriam Webster describes grief as: a deep and poignant distress. (Read more on grief’s definition here.) When we grieve anything it can take many feelings and forms, trapping us in horrible thoughts or restraining us from taking actions. It builds inside us and seems to claw at us from places we don’t expect. I read once that grief can take on the form of fear and we act fearful by keeping busy and in essence, “running” from our grief.

This emotion, this action, of grieving is very important. As humans, we go through many things and changes in life. Our lives take turns we don’t expect, we say farewell to family, lose people our hearts loved, see opportunities we didn’t take and more. Even some things we aren’t mean to have, we grieve out of our yearning. It stems from our selfish heart.

Grief is a cave. God knows grief and is aware we experience it. He uses it and takes the things we lost or mourn to grow us. And then use it for His glory and better things.

Acknowledge You Are In the Cave

Caves are dark eerie places of nature. They are hard and rocky with twists and turns. They symbolize death, horror, emptiness and hopelessness. Grief is hard to talk about and it’s harder still to admit that parts of you, or thoughts of you, are struggling to get passed something that happened, you saw, felt and lost.

We all go through deep character testing trials. All of us, but yet we shy away from admitting we are hurting and mourning something. (big or small thing) Please hear this, God knows we go through death, heartbreak, loss, instability, crisis and everything that hits us. Matthew 5:4, Psalm 25:16-17, Psalm 6:6 and 1 Peter 5:7 are all bits of the Bible that acknowledge the turns and pains of life.

It is natural. When walking in the mountains, one will see many caves and crevices among the beauty. And such is life, filled with many things we lose and grieve. But the beauty is we grow. And the comfort is that He knows all that will happen.

My last article was about the value of talking to God, pressing into Jesus. This is one of the reasons why. Because He wants to take our pain, to flood our cave with His light and support us as we go through this. One of the most beautiful verse in the Bible is John 11:35 which reads, “Jesus wept.”

Jesus cried. He grieved and mounted. He understands the way our hearts mourn and the feelings we go through. In that cave when you hit the ground and question and cry, reach out to Him. And let Him be there.

See the Hope

I used to ignore when I hurt before God. It wasn’t until recently, that I even admitted with words that I grieved certain things. It is hard to admit and it’s harder when the things feels small in the grand scheme of this tapestry of life. I was awakened that I needed to let the thing grow me and ready me, but how could I do that holding it in and ignoring the monster of grief and fear?

Inside the cave, the darkness may grow and it may seem like it will swallow you. But once we press into Christ this  miracle thing begins to happen, our pain is illuminated. Jesus said He is the Light of the World. He comes in our darkness and grief, right there, and allows us to see the growth and life happening because when we shift our perspective from us – our hurts, our pain, our thoughts, all of our ideas and feelings – we then start to see how He is working and blessing in other areas. Maybe even in that one.

Psalm 18:28 says, “You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.”

That’s my God right there. When we let Him into our pain we slowly see our grief and pain for what it is, its growth. It is readying us for whatever is next and it is preparing us to become what He designed. Even the darkness and most awful heartbreak and loss is part of His plan. Every death and every trial, every part or yourself that you grieve, has purpose. Just as Jeremiah 29:11 tells us. There is a light beginning in the cave and a hope at the end.

It Is Strength

I believe we never fully realize we are grieving until we see it happen through someone else’s eyes. And I know sometimes that’s how God has revealed that I needed to press into Him fully for healing. He would remind and then prompt me to dig deep to rid myself of the loss. To fill it with Him.

Once we are full of Him, our steps are nearing the exit of the cave and we get to step into the next turn and path He leads us on. That is true strength and growth. We struggle and fall, but there is a must inside our souls. I must press on, I must use this for God, I must not be defeated and I must rest in His ways and plans. Every part of life has a chapter, and then every day has a sentence; a moment gets a word. The beauty is that God uses every scribble of grief to grow us and ready us for the next page. Because sometimes we hold our hand down begging to stay on that page. Yet, our God sees the end, the bigger picture on the horizon.

Our grief will eventually scar and scab forming strength and new fortitude that God blessed us with. It shall ready us for the next chapter. Lean into your grief with God and let it grow you and strengthen you.

About Payton Tilley
Payton Tilley believes every word is important. If not writing, she can be found riding horses, reading, dreaming of ballroom dancing or painting. You can read more about the author here.

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