Thanksgiving? What is it?

I make good meat loaf.

It’s tasty, its moist. You can do all the things with it you can with a turkey. Slice it, dip it, make sandwiches out of the next day or three. It doesn’t get stuck behind that new crown you just got.

Mark, hey-why are you spreading all the bad juju? It’s what the pilgrims ate on that first thanksgiving.

Open a history book and quit listening to that guy with the spotty beard broadcasting his/it ‘influence’ from his aunt’s basement. There wasn’t a turkey at that party. Lots of deer, duck, fish that washed up on shore. These people were just happy to be alive. That first winter made snow angels-real snow angels, out of about have the group. Indians gave them corn, and probably the deer. It was dried or boiled. Yum.

If we want to be traditionists, lets boil our turkeys. And no one had a pig there either. So, that delicious ham we all like over the turkey, yeah, you couldn’t find one. If they had one, they would have surely eaten it somewhere between snowpacks that froze old lady Sorenson to her rocker. That’s where they found her, in mid-stitchery.

This is the only holiday the vegetarian and vegan crowd could come the closest to being on traditional point. You can eat some corn and some squash, and you will have been flashed back to 1621. You guys could probably even wear the clothing and make the whole show work.

And let’s not even talk about pumpkin pie. There was no coffee and cream to go with your desert back then and where is the Baileys? There was no desert. Someone might have gotten the idea to make a beer. They made the yeast out of table scraps and let it rot for a while then cooked it. How far do you go in your experimentation before you say ‘yeah, that’s just bad. Let’s not do this any longer and we have to stop with the mushrooms we find as well.’

You can put mushrooms in your meat loaf. Jes sayin.’