Jeff and friends,
This is long overdue and I am happy to be able to be a part of this and give my ideas, feelings and thoughts. “Theology from Death Row” I am excited to do this yet at the same time a little nervous! Smile! Before I begin I’d like to share some love and thanks to the people in my life that have helped me deal and mourn the lose of 2 family members and a dear friend. My father passed away of cancer January of last year and after the date passed it kind of hit me again and then I received notice of my grandmother (dads mom) had passed away then not a week later notice of my friend Julia passing. So I’ve been in a little funk but thanks to people like Jeff I am a better person and so very thankful for all he is and does for me! And closest to my heart are family who are dealing with everything and being so strong! Peace and God Bless you all!
Jeff, I have read over what you wrote and now I would like to touch on what I think God is. I stopped and took a moment to pray before I got started on this. I’d like to address the nature of God from my point of view. By giving analogies because analogies also give a greater understanding through assimilation and comparison. Religions all look at God with similar views yet focus more on one area than another depending on the people! So I liken God to a multifaceted gem. To understand one facet hardly gives you the understanding of God but its a start. I also liken God to fog as fog can surround you and envelope you. Ive spent time in my cell praying and felt the presence of God so strong its as if I was under water yet not suffocating but comfortable and filled with so many emotions. God is real yet God is not a thing.
I think that another thing is to show what God is not to help us clear the way for what God is! God is not a puppet or a toy. God is not a man or a woman that is us anthropomorphizing. God is not always easy to understand sometimes God is quiet and we have to wait for answers other times we are so flooded with understanding that there is no way to explain it but just to know! God is not to be put in a box and limited. We are the ones in the box and to understand God we try to bring God into our box of understanding! Like me using the fog or gem analogies to show an understanding of God! God is in our lives in so many ways. God pays attention to us when we are not paying attention to God. I disagree with Jeff’s ponderings/questionings and do unquestionably believe God knows our future.
Think of this as a human parent maps out in his/her mindthe type of life that their child will have. Yet due to our free will that does not always work out and the Father God knows the paths that are bad and hurtful so he wants us to turn from those ends. Sometimes we hear the right way and still do evil or go down that bad road. But this is not about judgment…it is about What is God?
And I can say so many things. But to touch on only a few will help show what God is. You see God is peace, calm and order! There is no chaos in God. God is what you will find in the midst of chaos and war total craziness. God is order like law not the do or don’t kind of law but the one plus one equals two kind of law! Sure there is a time and place for the do or don’t law…that is part of the gem facets each facets give a different time, place and understanding of God. In a place of chaos/evil negativity God’s loving peace shines like warm fire to comfort and ease. There is an enlightening and both mental and physical understanding. God is limitless! God can be everywhere but God is not a wishing well or slot machine to put your expectations on just because. God is here! God’s blessing is not a wand to use like an off/on switch. God’s blessing is like a flowing river and you are either in it or you are not! Sometimes we feel God’s blessing flowing strongly around us and other times we don’t but that does not mean its not there. God’s blessing has depth, twists, turns, highs and lows shallows or even what seems to be dry spots. Yet the whole time God is there and God is so much more! I see myself drifting to what God does with what God is. And in part its because they go hand in hand. God is goodness. God is caring. God is kindness. God is wonderful. God us also us! Matt 25:35-40. It is us doing God’s will and it God doing his will in us!
God is righteousness and God is holy! God is a teacher and a leader. SO often we want to take God by the hand and show God how things are to be done and not hear how God is showing us it is truly to be done!
To believe or not to believe is not the question regardless of belief. God is! God is I AM! Everything that is why I believe God does know the future because God is the great I AM. In my rebellion or in my deepest closeness of God nothing changes God…my actions and thoughts change me yet God stays true as ever in the I AM! God is and God will always be.
I have learned so much on what God is sitting in this cell by learning what God is NOT! Its given me a greater and deeper understanding of what God is that I have said so much yet at the same time I feel as if I have not even started to say what God is!
Like this paper and words I am writing to share knowledge I have but the wisdom gained in knowing is beyond a maybe or a could be…NO…GOD IS! The way I deal with God is probably different from you but that is just my relationship with God and I don’t feel judgment from God…I feel judgment from MAN! God is not limited but we are limited to the freedom and will we are given and have. Restricted to live our lives, GOOD, BAD, RIGHT or WRONG! GOD IS LOVE! and joy and pure fun in ever facet we turn the understanding gem…the depth of GOD grows into an abyss before us extending beyond our comprehension. I AM and will always be! GOD IS!
I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read this and spend a little time with me…there are things I should have touched on more and things I should have touched on less but in and through it all I am happy to be able to share these things with you and I hope I have been able to help you gain more understanding even if just a little. In all this I pray God’s will and blessing be upon you and around your life! I look forward to writing about the next topic…The Nature of Evil. Much love and a huge thanks for all my family and friends who supported me and pushed me into hurrying up and getting this one done. HUGE SMILE TO EVERYONE! Peace, love and God’s blessings!
Will Speer
#999398
Texas Death Row
Polunsky Unit
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