Fat, Females and Philosophy

“I wrote a whole paper about that question for a philosophy class,” my colleague, the mad Real Clear Science editor Alex Berezow, told me over the phone. We were discussing a post here, “Yes, That Dress Does Make You Look Fat.” Alex explained the paper a bit more and I finally asked him to send me the whole thing, if he still had it. Turns out, yes, he did, and it’s a doozy. It’s on the long side, so I’m including a few graphs below, followed by the rest after the jump:

3 Philosophical Approaches to the Age-Old Question

by Alex Berezow

Ethical problems usually arise when a circumstance causes a conflict between one’s ethical convictions. What does one do when one is confronted by a situation in which either choice one makes leads to a violation of an ethical standard? It is almost for certain that every man has had to deal with this sort of a dilemma, most often involving situations with the opposite sex. There is some point in the life of every man that a woman confronts him with this question: “Does this dress make me look fat?” The ethical issues at stake here are the conviction to tell the truth versus the conviction to not cause someone unnecessary emotional pain. What is a man to do here? Is he to lie and tell the woman that she does not appear obese (thereby violating his former conviction), or is he to make her aware of the unfortunate reality of her roundness (thereby violating his latter conviction)? Three philosophical viewpoints on what the highest good is can help answer this question: Kantian ethics (deontology), Utilitarianism (hedonism), and Virtue Theory.

Dave the deontologist (who happens to subscribe to Kantian ethics) proposes that doing one’s duty is the highest good. Harold the hedonist (who prefers Utilitarianism) believes that the highest good is determined by the amount of happiness that is produced in a situation. Finally, Vlad the Virtue Theorist, believes that facilitating human flourishing and personal excellence is the highest good. These three decided to confront this age-old problem that has plagued man ever since the creation of women’s dresses.

Dave the deontologist remarks, “In my system of beliefs, doing one’s duty is the ultimate good. One must ask oneself, ‘What categorical rule would I be following if I told her that she didn’t look fat?’ The rule would be: Lie to people if the truth hurts. Then, I must ask myself, ‘Would it be possible for everyone to follow this rule all the time?’ And, obviously, the answer is an emphatic ‘No.’ For if lying was acceptable if the truth hurts, then constructive criticism could not exist, and therefore personal improvement would be less likely to occur. Therefore, I conclude that it is one’s duty to say, ‘Yes, the dress makes you look fat.'”

Harold the hedonist disagrees. He says, “Dave, I do not agree with your opinion. As a Utilitarian, I believe that pleasure and happiness are the highest goods. If you told the poor woman that she looked fat, she would most likely be saddened by what you said, even if it is the truth. I believe that ethically, it is wrong to produce unhappiness where happiness could have easily prevailed. So, I conclude that telling the woman that she does not look fat is the right decision, for this creates the most happiness.”

Vlad the Virtue Theorist listens to the two arguments before him and states, “Both of these arguments sound very good. However, in the end, one of my ethical standards will be violated by either choice I make. Dave, if I said, ‘The dress makes you look fat,’ I would be hurting her feelings unnecessarily, and I cannot accept that consequence. Harold, if I said, ‘The dress does not make you look fat,’ I lied, and I cannot accept that consequence either. Therefore, I propose that you do not answer the question.”

Dave and Harold appear stunned. They ask, “How do you get away with that, and not violate any of your ethical standards?”

Vlad casually replies, “Let me explain. Human flourishing and personal excellence are the highest goods, and morality is that aspect of human behavior that attempts to achieve, via the virtues, ultimate human flourishing. Obviously, telling the truth and preventing unnecessary emotional harm to others are virtues. It is my opinion that faithfulness to one virtue does not give us liberty to violate another. But, when confronted with a situation that causes a conflict between our ethical standards, we must resort to asking the question, ‘What would cause the most human flourishing and personal excellence?’ So, gentlemen, in our situation, I would propose that one responds to the woman by saying, ‘Darling, does it make any difference what I, or anyone else for that matter, think about how you look in that dress? If you think that dress looks good, then by all means, wear it.’ By this response, you have not only avoided lying and causing emotional distress, but you have achieved the utmost human flourishing. This is so because you did not violate your ethical standards and, at the same time, have uplifted the woman’s own right to choose. You have achieved personal excellence for both parties involved.”

Dave and Harold were dumbfounded. They both agreed that Vlad’s approach was the best. I also agree with their conclusion. I feel that Vlad the Virtue Theorist has won the debate, for he has avoided all ethical violations and has uplifted personal excellence. Virtue Theory has won the day over Kantian ethics (deontology) and Utilitarianism (hedonism).

(However, as a side note, Harold the hedonist gets the last laugh. In practice, the girl wanted to hear that she did not look fat. Harold told her what she wanted to hear. Harold gets the girl while the other two engage in another philosophical debate on the best way to attract women.)