Don’t See ParaNorman–Q&A

Don’t See ParaNorman–Q&A August 18, 2012

Q: What’s a great way to escape the heat on a hot day?

A: Going to a movie.

Q: What if the movie is awful?

A: Well then you’ve traded one kind of annoyance for another, haven’t you?

Q: Stick to answers.

A: Fair enough.

Q: What is the occasion for this Q&A?

A: I watched ParaNorman last night and it was awful. People should be warned.

Q: Was it so bad that you walked out?

A: No, but close call. The look of the movie convinced me to ride it out.

Q: What was so bad about it?

A: For starters, it was another dreadful message movie.

Q: What’s wrong with a message?

A: Nothing, I suppose, though sermons do get old after a while.

Q: You’re saying this movie was a sermon?

A: It contained a few preachments, yes. The hero, Norman, lectured people into submission.

Q: That does sound wretched.

A: Stick to questions! But, yes, it was pretty unbearable. Hollywood’s new-found love of message movies is ruining kiddie and adolescent flicks.

Q: Readers will want an explanation for that one.

A: Well, take Rocky and Bullwinkle. It was this zany non-message-driven cartoon that still has a large following today. So of course Hollywood turns it into a live action message movie about not ignoring your inner child, and it flops.

Q: Do you object to the message more or to the inner child?

A: That’s almost a toss up. I don’t like that movies have got so preachy and I really detest what I guess we should call Steven Spielberg’s Theology of the Infallible Child.

Q: How does that go?

A: It’s this constant theme in movies that adults are dumb and kids really have the answers, if only we’d listen to them. In small doses, it’s tolerable. But the way this theme has enraptured Hollywood is just absurd.

Q: So ParaNorman was preachy and too kid positive. Check. Anything else?

A: Yes, there’s the thing about the witch.

Q: What thing about the witch?

A: You know, just once I’d like to see a mean old witch a movie today, one who isn’t a misunderstood feminist or a victim of unjust Christian persecution or somesuch. It’s all so very boring. Give me that old time witchcraft any day. It’s a lot more fun to watch.


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